#and seeing the happiness Pouring from him makes the pain of it worth it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

serpentandlily · 8 months ago

Text

Untouchable IX - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister!Reader

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court’s spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he’d eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on—with Elain, your brother’s mate’s sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that—more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst, physical torture, violence

a/n: guys, I’m so sorry this part took a long time to come out. I hope this chapter is worth the wait! Part 10 will be the final chapter/epilogue :)

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IX

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Days might’ve gone by…days…months…years. Time was an elusive being to you. Had been since the moment the mating bond had snapped between you and Azriel. Since that one last second you got to have with him—your mate.

Koschei kept you strung up in chains, your wrist shackled above your head, your feet barely touching the floor. Your entire body ached with pain. Blood crusted on the white slip he had you put in.

When he had shadowed you back to his small cabin on the lake, you had assumed he would turn you into one of the swans, like he had with the other girls. But apparently, none of you had ever learned the full story.

Vassa had certainly never mentioned this part. Not that you blamed her. You wouldn’t want to talk about it either. How he liked to beat the girls he captured, break them in, before transforming them into one of his pets—forever tied to this lake.

You didn’t want to give up but it was getting harder and harder each day. But you had to. You couldn’t let that day in the clearing be the last time you got to see Azriel…to see your mate.

A few tears leaked from the corner of your eyes at the thought of him, of how he must be feeling with you gone. Everything you both had wished for had come true only to last for a mere second in time before the universe tore you apart once more. It was cruel. It was… no word could come close to describing it. It couldn’t be the end of your story. You couldn’t let it be.

The door to the room you were confined in opened and you whimpered at the sight of the sorcerer.

“Oh, little pet,” he purred, “Are you not happy to see me? And here I thought we were finally making progress.”

“Fuck you,” you groaned, swaying on your shackles as you tried to distance yourself from him.

He gave you a serpentine smile. “The stubborn ones are so much more fun to break.”

You glared at him as he stalked over to you, a cup of water in his hands. You had kicked and bucked the first few times but after all of the torture he put you through the past hours, you had no energy left to do anything but dangle there.

“Now, are we going to do this the hard way or the easy way?” He held up the water to your mouth but you twisted your head away, slamming your lips shut. “Ah, the hard way it is.”

Excitement filled his eyes as he landed a punch straight in your gut, knocking the air right out of your lungs. You gasped and he grabbed your chin roughly, squeezing the sides of your mouth and making it impossible to snap your jaw shut.

He poured the water into your mouth but you spit it back up, right on his face. You knew it was full of faebane because this was the third time he had come in here to give it to you.

He growled as he wiped away your spit before slapping your cheek hard enough that your head whipped to the side and blood swelled in your mouth. You heaved, letting it trickle down your jaw and onto the floor.

He grabbed you by the chin and forced you to face him again, hooking his fingers over your bottom teeth and yanking your jaw open once again. This time when he poured the water into your mouth, he quickly slammed it shut and plugged your nose.

“Drink it,” he ordered.

You glared at him defiantly but it did nothing to help you as you ran out of air and choked the water down. He let go of you and you greedily sucked in air.

“Good girl,” he grinned. “See how much easier it is when you listen to me?”

You said nothing. You couldn’t. Not as the faebane coursed through your body, extinguishing all the magic that had started to replenish as the last batch wore off. Not as your wounds and bruises stopped healing and pain slammed into your body.

The faebane he liked to give you was partially diluted. Just enough to let it wear off quicker so you had time to heal in between his sessions but not enough to fully heal or get your magic back. He liked working with a clean canvas but didn’t let your magic linger enough to rid you of pain entirely.

Koschei circled around your hanging body and you heard him fiddling behind you. The sound of leather in his palm had you squirming.

“Now, where were we?”

The crack of the whip against your back rippled through your body and you couldn’t fight the scream that erupted from your lips. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to push your consciousness into the deepest crevices of your mind, where you might find the tiniest bit of solace as one name constantly repeated in your thoughts.

Azriel.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“I’m not waiting any longer,” Azriel growled at his High Lord. “I’m leaving. Now.”

Both Azriel and Rhysand looked worse for wear. Rhys’s face was littered with bruises and cuts and Azriel was sure he looked no better. But he didn’t care. All he cared about right now was that his mate was in the hands of that fucking sorcerer and he was going to rip that male apart limb by limb for ever thinking he could take her.

“We need to think this through, Az,” Feyre pleaded. “If you rush in, you’ll end up dead and be of no help to Y/n.”

Azriel’s hands tightened into fists. These past two days had been hell. Once Rhys had misted the Prince in the clearing, he had winnowed the three of them back to Velaris—to start planning their rescue mission.

He hadn’t even gotten two words out before Azriel pounced on him. He could barely remember those first few hours after she had been taken. All he knew was the anger he felt—the rage. The mating bond snapping into place. The bargain breaking. And her…his love being taken away from him, his heart and soul with her.

And Rhys, the fucking asshole, had been at the center of his anger. For making him agree to that bargain with him in the first place. For making him stay away from her—his mate.

It had taken Cassian, Mor and Feyre to pull them apart that day.

He had stopped starting fights with Rhys but his anger still pulsed under his skin, ready to strike at a moment's notice.

"We've had plenty of time to think,” Azriel snapped at his High Lady, causing Rhys’s head to shoot up with a warning glare.

“Watch your tone,” Rhys bit back at him.

“Fuck you, Rhys!” Azriel slammed his scarred hands down on the desk between them. “I’m going and I swear to the Gods if you try to stop me, I’ll rip your throat out!”

“No, fuck you, Azriel!” Rhys yelled, standing up to his full height. “Stop acting as if you’re the only one affected by this! She was my sister long before she was your mate! Maybe if you hadn’t gone behind my back—”

“Maybe if you hadn’t made us make that stupid bargain with you in the first place, we would’ve never had to! I could’ve had centuries with her. You stole all those years from us!”

The second the bond snapped between him and his mate, Azriel swore he lived a whole lifetime. A whole lifetime they hadn’t been afforded. It had all flashed right before his eyes. His mate…His beautiful mate. She deserved so much better than this and as soon as he got her back in his arms, he would give her the whole world. He'd tear the sun from the sky if it would make her happy.

“Guys, stop! This fighting between the two of you has only made things worse! Fight all you want once we get Y/n back, but you need to focus. Both of you. For her sake,” Feyre snapped.

Azriel ran a hand through his hair, letting out a noise of frustration. His shadows swarmed around him like a monsoon—screaming his mate’s name over and over again in agony. “You don’t understand, Feyre. Every single time I feel her…during those tiny moments she slips through to the bond…all I feel is her pain. He’s torturing her. How am I supposed to sit here while my mate is being tortured?”

He turned away from them, unable to look at Rhys any longer as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. He had completely and utterly failed his mate. Had let her get into the arms of an enemy. This was all his fault…all of it. She would’ve never even ran away from Velaris if he had never tried to move on with Elain last year. He put those thoughts in her head and there was nothing he regretted more in his life. He had never wanted Elain. He had never even wanted Mor. He had tried, when he thought Rhys’s sister was off limits, to move on. But he had never, ever stopped loving her. He had never felt anything for anyone other than her.

And she had been ripped away from him before they could even have a life together.

“That’s it,” Rhys whispered from behind him. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”

“What?” Azriel snarled, whipping around.

“You said you can feel her sometimes—through the bond, right?”

Azriel nodded his head, crossing his arms.

Rhys stroked his jaw in thought. “He must be drugging her with faebane. But not consistently. There must be small moments when it wears off before he gives her another dose. That’s why you can feel her sometimes.”

“Where are you going with this?” Feyre asked.

“We can use the mating bond to tell us when to act,” Rhys explained. “When Azriel can feel her, we know her magic is regenerating. We should stop looking at this as battle and more like a stealth mission. We bait Koschei into coming to the water’s edge the moment Azriel feels my sister down the bond—act like we are declaring war. Keep him distracted long enough for her to get back most of her power. Meanwhile, Azriel can slip into the cabin, release her from whatever binds he has her in and get her out.”

“What about the wards around the cabin? No one can winnow in or out. Even Az’s shadows might set it off.”

“I’ll have to get inside without using any magic,” Azriel said. “I can do it. I can get to her. As long as you keep him distracted and buy me enough time.”

“Helion has given Y/n some lessons on setting and breaking wards,” Rhys added. “Once she sees you, once she realizes she’s being saved, she can start working on breaking them so she can winnow the two of you out.”

“And you trust that she’ll be able to do that?” Feyre asked.

Rhys let out a long sigh. Azriel knew how much it would pain him to have to force his sister to save herself. Rhys had always been the one doing the heavy lifting for their family, always keeping his sister as protected as he could, especially after she almost died. But he couldn’t save her this time.

He’d need to have faith in her.

“She can do it,” Azriel declared, full of confidence in his mate’s abilities. “She is not that little girl in the woods anymore, Rhys. You’ve trained her. I’ve trained her. She is more than capable of this.”

“I know she’s not,” Rhys whispered. “She hasn’t been. Not for a long time. And I’m sorry, Azriel, I truly am. You’re right. I should’ve never forced you to make that bargain.”

“Save your apology for when I get my mate back,” Azriel spat out. Maybe it was unfair, but he was not ready to accept any apologies from Rhys. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

If their plan worked, Azriel would have his mate back in his arms, back in Velaris, safe and sound by tonight. It had to work. It had to work because there was no way he could go through another sleepless night in an empty bed. He needed her like he needed the air in his lungs; he simply could not live without her. He would either be back in Velaris tonight with his mate or six feet under because he wasn’t leaving this damn lake without her.

The Valkyries are ready, Az.

Rhysand’s voice in his head caused his fists to clench. He was not any closer to forgiving him than he was yesterday but that was a problem for a different day. Right now they’d have to work together to get his mate back and nothing would stand in his way, certainly not his own pride.

The plan was simple in theory. They had decided to use Koschei’s weakness against him—females. Some of the Valkyries were willing to help and he trusted their training. If things went correctly, they wouldn’t even need to fight.

Azriel was crouched, hiding and waiting for the mating bond to begin singing again. He hated that he couldn’t just rush in and take her. Hated that she was likely being tortured as they sat out here waiting for the right moment to begin their plan. Azriel was used to having to wait around like this. It was a part of his job, after all. But right now, it was excruciating.

But finally… finally he felt it. That tiny spark. That gold thread reforming.

It’s time, Rhys.

Okay, wait for the signal.

They had to lure Koschei out. He couldn’t see though because he was waiting behind the cabin on the other side of the lake, ready to fly to one of the landings so he could sneak his way inside.

Alright, we’ve got his attention. Good luck, Azriel. Bring my sister home but make sure you come home too.

He couldn’t promise his brother that. He wasn’t leaving here without her, no matter what happened.

I will.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A noise caused you to look up despite the pain the movement caused. Your eyes widened in surprise as a shadowed figure stood in the doorway, blue light emitting from their form. Your vision was going in and out of focus, blurring everything. You blinked one…twice…

The person finally stepped into the light.

“Az?” You wheezed out.

Azriel swore and rushed forward until he was right in front of you, holding your face in his hands. He was speaking but you couldn’t hear anything through the ringing in your ears. You must be hallucinating. There was no way Azriel was really here in front of you. It was not possible…

“—can you hear me, baby? Fuck, we’ve got to get you out of these chains.”

“Az,” you rasped again, “Is…is this real? Are you real?”

His beautiful hazel eyes met yours again, the emotion swimming in them threatening to tear your heart right out of your chest. Pain, rage, desperation, guilt. Your eyes flooded with tears of relief.

“I’m real. I’m here with you, baby,” he said, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m going to get you out of these chains, okay? And then I’m going to get you out of here.”

“H-how?” you stuttered out because you had no idea how he was standing here in this cabin when it seemed like an impossible feat.

“Later. I'll explain later. Do you think you can start trying to take down the wards around this place?”

"I'll try," you whispered but your magic had barely started regenerating. The wounds on your back weren't even beginning to heal yet.

The sound of a door slamming open rang through the house. You let out a whimper and Azriel’s eyes widened in fear as he looked at you but not fear for himself…fear for you.

“Fuck, we’ve got to go. Now,” he said, frantically.

The fear in his eyes faded to cold, hard rage and he grabbed the chains above your head and yanked them apart with his bare hands. You collapsed to the ground, crying out in pain, your legs unable to hold you. Azriel caught you on the way down, kneeling with you.

“I’ve got you, babygirl,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

You could still feel the wounds on your back bleeding, some ripping open as you curled in towards Azriel. Your head was still pounding, your body still in agony. Azriel wrapped his arms around you and helped you stand up, letting you lean your entire weight against him. Stomping footsteps were coming down the hallway, almost to the room you were being kept in.

“We need to get out of here,” he was frantically whispering, his hands holding you by the upper arms, your wrists still in cuffs with a bit of the chain attached.

You stood on shaky legs, raising your head to see Koschei standing in the doorway, his face twisted into a grin that sent chills down your spine.

“Az!”

Azriel twisted around, his wings flaring out protectively to block you just as Koschei sent a blast of dark magic careening your way. It came at the two of you so fast, Azriel was unable to throw up a shield.

You were able to yank Azriel behind a stack of crates just as the wave of darkness clipped his wing. He let out a cry of pain, his entire body tensing as the darkness ripped through tendon and bone. You nearly cried out with him as the wing that was hit fell limp.

“Did you think you could fool me with your little plan, shadowsinger?” Koschei purred out as the two of you hid behind the crates. “Did you think I’d let you steal my pet? You’re a fool!”

Despite the agony he was in, Azriel twisted the two of you around, covering your whole body with his. Another blast of darkness caused the crates in front of you to explode to pieces, sending splinters of wood flying that pierced through any exposed skin and you let out a tiny scream of fear.

Azriel pulled you up and helped you run further back in the room, unable to leave with Koschei blocking the door. Another blast of magic hit the both of you just as you ducked behind a rack of the weapons and tools Koschei had been using to torture you with.

You cried out in pain, your jaw smacking against the floor with a sickening crunch. Blood filled your mouth as you pushed yourself up, your whole body aching, turning to make sure Azriel was okay.

But Azriel had taken the brunt of the hit, shielding your body as much as he could. A deep laceration cut across his torso, blood seeping over his leathers. His body was tense, his wing still limp on the floor. You knew he was holding back his cries of pain for your sake.

The sorcerer strided into the room, leisurely, as if this was at most a minor inconvenience to him. Darkness seeped from his figure, tendrils running along the floor towards the two of you.

“I’m going to distract him,” Azriel whispered to you. “You need to make a run for it. The Valkyries will be waiting for you, okay? They’ll help get you home.”

“No,” you cried out, clinging to the front of his leathers. “I’m not leaving you behind, Azriel!”

Azriel stroked your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re going to have to, princess. I need you to get out of here, do you hear me? Get out of here and go as far away as you possibly can. The others will find you, I promise.”

Tears filled your eyes as he held your face with such care and tenderness. His own eyes were filled with that same cold rage and a heavy resolve. You shook your head rapidly.

“I’m not leaving you, Azriel,” you repeated.

“Why don’t you come on out, shadowsinger?” Koschei called out, his voice filled with amusement. “You can fight me for the girl. I’ll even let you make the first move.”

Azriel was the most powerful warrior you knew but even he would be no match for a Death God. Facing Koschei would mean certain death and by the way Azriel was staring at you, he knew that. His eyes traced over your entire face as if he were committing it to his memory.

“I’m so sorry, princess,” he whispered to you, his thumbs stroking away your tears. “I’m sorry for ever making that bargain that kept me away from you but I want you to know that even after all those years, it has always—will always—be you that I love. You were my first and only love and I’m so sorry that I can’t give you the life you deserve. I will find you in the next one, I promise, even if I have to crawl my way out of hell to get back to you. Even if I have to tear apart the universe, I will find you. You are my mate and even death can’t take that away from us. I love you. I will always love you.”

“Azriel,” you choked out, your fingers tightening on his leathers, but he simply placed his hands over yours and lightly tore them from him. “Az, you can’t—”

Azriel cut you off, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. A kiss full of love and despair. You tasted your salty tears through it, tears that kept pouring at the realization that this was the very first kiss the two of you shared that didn’t cause him any pain.

And it would be your last.

Azriel stood up as much as he could, his right wing still dragging along the floor. Bruises were appearing on his jaw, blood still poured from the wound on his chest.

“Azriel, no!”

You reached out for him, to yank him back, but he stepped away, exposing himself to Koschei.

“Look at you,” Koschei said with a grin, “So ready to die for your love. I’m going to enjoy killing you in front of your mate.”

“Fuck you,” Azriel snarled as he spat out some blood. “If I’m dying here then I’m dragging you to hell with me.”

Shadows exploded from Azriel in a swirl of never ending darkness that launched itself towards Koschei. But Koschei’s own darkness seemed to absorb it and grow in size before he sent it careening back to Azriel. It burned through the blue shield Azriel had thrown up and knocked straight into him, sending him flying through the room until he collided with the back wall which nearly buckled under the force.

You screamed out for him, trying to stand but falling once again. You were dehydrated, starved, and beaten within an inch of your life but you pushed your body as much as you could, using the edge of the table to help you stand as Koschei stalked towards your mate.

Azriel had wanted you to disable the wards....If you could do that, if you could tear them down, you could try winnowing to Azriel so the both of you could winnow away before Koschei killed either of you. You were wheezing as you forced yourself to stand and concentrate. You had to do this. You had to get Azriel out of here.

Koschei descended on him once again and they began a battle of shadows and darkness. You could hardly keep track of either of them as they began to disappear and reappear in other places with their shadows, each taking shots at each other. You winced at every noise of their magic colliding, winced at every brutal hit Azriel took from the Death God.

You could feel more of your magic renewing itself, the open wounds on your back finally starting to heal. As more and more pain wore off, you focused your energy into tearing down the wards, trying to drown out the sound of the fighting in the room for now.

It was like an intricate spider web of silver light. One you'd have to disentangle carefully to not trigger. You had no idea what sorts of traps lay in the magic around this place. So strand by strand, piece by piece, you worked on taking it apart. It just had to be enough, enough to give you a small window of opportunity.

You heard Azriel cry out and your focus slipped for a second. You frantically looked over your shoulder and screamed his name as Koschei slammed him into the ground a few yards away. His condition had worsened, his face had gone pale from all the bloodloss, less shadows seemed to be swirling around him as his magic weakened from all the use. You had to hurry.

“Go,” he rasped out, glancing your way. “Y/n, go—run!”

But you wouldn’t…couldn’t. You couldn’t leave him to face this alone.

You tried to remember everything from your lessons with Helion on spellcleaving. Tried to remember how to spot what strand to pull and when, as if the ward was a symphony of sorts and you were playing its violin. One after the other. Twisting and pulling each and every way until finally… finally, you were able to carve out a small hole. But it needed to be bigger. Big enough to winnow through.

Suddenly, something sharp struck within your chest and you fell to your knees in pain, losing your concentration. You clutched at your chest, your heart feeling like it was tearing itself into two. A feeling of dread and terror washed over you when you realized the mating bond that was beginning to fray as life was being sucked from Azriel. Another stab of agony made you crumble all the way to the ground, crying out.

You looked up to see Azriel on his knees in the center of the room. His breathing was heavy and slow, he was covered in his own blood, his leather armor torn to pieces and bruises decorated his beautiful face. His wings were slumped on the ground, the right one still nearly shredded. And above him stood the Death God, his darkness wrapped around your mate's throat, ready to squeeze the remaining life out of him.

Time seemed to pause in that minute—like the whole world was about to collapse in on itself. The breath was sucked right from your lungs. The very fiber of your being was crying at the sight of your mate on death's door, ripping itself apart as you felt his pain like it was your own. Your hand inched on the ground towards Azriel as you weakly called out his name.

His head turned slightly, his eyes widening as he realized you hadn’t ran away like he had hoped you did. That you were still here with him. He shook his head at you, unable to speak, trying to will you to get up and make a run for it before it was too late. But you would die here with him, because no part of you wanted to live without him.

They always say your life flashes before your eyes when you're on the brink of death.

But that is not what happened.

Instead, a life you never lived did.

A private mating ceremony with Azriel, declaring your love for each other as a priestess tied a ribbon around both your hands, linking you forever. Azriel painstakingly building a small cottage for you on the edge of Velaris with his own hands just because the ones you toured weren’t like the one you had dreamt of. A life where you and Azriel were together, mated and married, living in that cottage on the outskirts of Velaris. You and Azriel on a balcony watching starfall as he gently placed a hand on your round belly. Azriel with his arms wrapped around you, pressing kisses to your neck as you watched two children who resembled the two of you running through the tall grass in the meadow behind your home.

A whole life that they two of you could've had. A life that was stolen from you because of a bargain made three hundred years ago. A life you would never get to live because this would be your ending. Two lovers torn apart for centuries, finally able to be together as they wished only to met their demise before their life together even began.

No.

You pushed yourself up on shaky arms, crawling on your hands and knees towards your mate.

No.

This would not be your ending. You wouldn't allow it. No, too much had been stolen from the two of you and this...this was not how your story together would end.

You channeled all your magic, pulling from the depths of your soul, pulling from parts of yourself you didn't even know existed, all the way down to the core of your being. You were the Princess of Night—a child of night and shadow, for Gods’ sake. A child born with the darkside of the moon in her. A child blessed with magic. You pulled and pulled at your darkness until it was pouring out of you, seeping from your skin and bones.

It lurched forward and slammed into the Death God, pushing him away from Azriel—away from your mate.

Death would not have him today because he was yours.

Azriel fell forward onto his hands, gasping for air. You stood up, limping over to Azriel and standing in front of him, glaring at Koschei. You didn’t have any armor on, still in the tattered night gown with your wrists shackled together, didn’t even have a weapon, but you had your magic back and it would have to be enough.

Koschei chuckled, standing up and dusting himself off. Although he had brought Azriel to his knees, the Death God hadn’t escaped without injuries of his own, a testiment to Azriel’s power.

“You know,” Koschei said, striding towards you. “I thought we’d have more time together—you and I. But it seems like you’re more trouble than you’re worth, child. So now, I shall end you and your mate. Hm, two mates dying together, how romantic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, your darkness curling around your form. Azriel was weakly calling out your name from behind you, his hand reaching to grab you so he could push you away but you didn’t let him.

“You know, this is the most excitement I’ve had in a long time. I’m feeling rather charitable so I’ll offer you this—become one of my swans and I’ll let your mate go.”

Azriel let out a growl from behind you that nearly shook the room but you stepped forward, as if considering it. Koschei’s body relaxed, thinking the fight was over, like you hoped he would.

But the darkness that was curling around you shot forward like a chain and wrapped itself around his neck before he could deflect it. You yanked on it, causing him to choke as he fell to his knees—in the same exact position he had Azriel in before.

His hands clawed at the darkness but you didn’t let up, not for a second. Not as that life you dreamed about replayed in your mind over and over again. Not as you thought of Azriel, your mate. No, you wouldn’t let up. You sent all your hatred, all of your anger into that darkness.

Your darkness spread around the Death God and started shoving its way into him from all orifices, his ears, his mouth. Everywhere until he was being consumed by it.

“You should’ve never laid a hand on my mate,” you growled at the Death God who was gasping for air and then you yanked your rope of darkness tighter and tighter—ignoring the agony you felt as your magic burned through you until your well was drained entirely.

Koschei’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slumped over finally—crashing to the floor. He…he wasn’t dead. You could still hear his faint heartbeat but he was out cold. You let out a breath of relief.

“P-princess…”

You whirled around as Azriel rasped your name. His hazel eyes met yours for a second, blinking lazily before they closed and he fell to the ground. You let out a cry of alarm and rushed for him, falling to the ground next to him. You wrapped your arms around his limp body, pulling him into your lap. His breathing was labored, heavy. His heartbeat barely audible.

“Azriel,” you cried, brushing some hair from his face. “Come on, baby. Don’t—you can’t…you can’t do this to me. Wake up, please!”

His eyes blinked open for a second and some of your tears fell on his cheeks. You pressed a hand to the deepest wound on his torso, trying to stop some of the bleeding.

“H-hey, princess,” Azriel choked out, a soft smile on his lips, still in a haze.

“Hey, shadowsinger,” you whispered, smiling at him weakly.

“You’re…,” he coughed, a bit of blood dribbling from his lips. He was in bad shape. You needed to get him to a healer. Now. “You’re touching me.”

“I am,” you choked on your own sobs, running your hand down his face. You tried to reach out to your brother through your mind. You didn’t have enough magic left to winnow the both of you out of here.

Rhys…Rhys, please, I need you!

“Y-you’re touching me,” Azriel repeated, his eyes closing. “And i-it feels like…heaven.”

You couldn’t help the bittersweet laugh that escaped as you wiped at the tears still pouring down your cheeks.

Dove, I’m here! Are you okay? Where is Azriel?

“Az, I need you to stay awake, okay? Can you open your eyes for me? Please, baby, just for a little longer.”

He’s here with me but he’s in bad shape, Rhys. I don’t have any magic left. I can’t get us out of here. Please…I don’t know what to do.

“Mm…‘mm so tired,” Azriel slurred out.

“I know, baby, but you’ve got to stay awake. Just for a bit and then you can rest as long as you want to, okay?”

I’m coming, dove. Hold on.

You let out a sob as Azriel’s eyes shut again and his breathing slowed. “No, you can’t do this! You can’t leave me, Az. Not when I finally have you. Come on, baby, wake up!”

Darkness swirled around the cabin and for a second, you thought Koschei had woken up but you sobbed even harder as your brother finally emerged from it. Rhys glanced at the passed out Death God before he saw you holding Azriel on the floor.

“Rhys, please! Please, he needs a healer,” you cried.

Your brother’s eyes widened at the sight of his shadowsinger. He rushed forward, falling to his knees beside you.

“Let me take him,” your brother whispered. You didn’t want to let your mate go but you knew you couldn’t lift him. “It’s okay, dove. Let me help him.”

You passed Azriel over to him, watching your brother take your mate into his arms and lift him off the floor. You stood on shaky legs, your own vision beginning to blacken as the exhaustion of all the magic use finally caught up to you. The last thing you remembered was Rhys winnowing the two of you to some makeshift camp away from the lake and crying out for Azriel before darkness consumed you.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

One week later

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The sound of the door opening stirred you from your slumber. You sat up with a groan, your back aching because of the way you had fallen asleep—hunched over in a chair, next to Azriel’s bed where he still lied unconscious, as he had been since the day he’d help you escape from Koschei’s grasp.

You blinked the sleep from your eyes, taking notice of your brother in the doorway. He hesitantly stepped inside the room, closing the door shut behind him softly. You hadn’t spoken to him since you had woken up a week ago. Not when he was part of the reason for all of this, for ever making Azriel stay away from you.

And he knew he deserved your resentment and had kept away for the most part. But you noticed how sometimes after falling asleep you’d wake up with a blanket thrown around your shoulders that smelled like him or there’d be food waiting for you on the bedside table that you knew came from him.

You grabbed Azriel’s hand, squeezing it lightly. You felt comforted by his warmth. Madja wasn’t able to tell how long it would take for Azriel to heal. He had taken a lot of damage, all of it mostly internal because of Koschei’s magic, and that was taking far longer to heal.

You were so scared he’d never wake up. So scared that you never left his bedside. You'd sit here for the rest of your life if you had to.

Rhysand was staring down at Azriel’s limp body, his eyes swimming with tears. You could see the guilt he felt written all over him. He’d almost lost someone he’d considered his brother because of that stupid bargain he’d made him make.

He came around the side of the bed until he was standing beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder. Part of you wanted to cringe away from his touch but another part also just really needed him as a brother right now.

“I am so sorry, dove,” he whispered. “Making Azriel make that bargain with me is something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry I kept you away from your mate. I’m so sorry for ever thinking it was my right to control who you loved. I understand if you never want to talk to me again—if you hate me now.”

A moment of silence passed before you stood and looked at him. “Rhys, you fucked up. You really did. I know you were traumatized after mother died—after I almost did, too. What you did has caused me and Azriel so much pain and maybe I’ll be mad at you for it for the rest of our lives but I Rhys, you’re my brother. I could never hate you.”

A small sob escaped from his lips before Rhys pulled you into a warm embrace. You crumbled into your brother’s arms, seeking a type of comfort only he could provide. Your own tears slipped down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, dove. I’ll keep apologizing until I can’t speak. When Azriel wakes up, whatever you guys want, it’s yours—all of it.”

“I’m so scared, Rhysie,” you cried, burying your face in his chest. “I’m so scared he’s not going to wake up. I’m so scared I’ll never get to talk to him again…”

“Azriel is the strongest person I know,” Rhys whispered into your hair. “He’s going to wake up, dove. As long as you’re here, he will fight his way through whatever is keeping him from you. He’s going to wake up.”

“I never even got to tell him how much he means to me. I never told him how much I love him or how ready I am to accept the mating bond. I never…I never—”

You fell into a fit of sobs again, unable to even speak. Rhys held you tightly, stroking your back.

“He knows, dove. He knows how much you love him. And you’ll get the chance to tell him, okay? You will.”

But all you could do was pray to the Gods that you would get that chance.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A few more agonizing days passed by. Days that seemed longer than the span of your entire life. Days spent next to Azriel’s bedside, praying each and every morning that this would be the day he finally woke. You didn’t lose hope, you couldn’t because just the thought of him never waking up would send you into a spiral so deep, there’d be no pulling you out of it.

You let out a sigh and dropped your head into your hands.

Is this how he felt while you’d been chained in Koschei’s cabin?

You still felt so guilty…guilty that you hadn’t trusted Azriel’s reassurances that there was nothing between him and Elain, guilty that you had fallen for the Prince’s cruel trap. If you had just trusted your mate, he wouldn’t be lying here after nearly dying for you.

“P-prin…p-princess?”

Your heart leaped to your throat and you looked up so rapidly, you almost cracked your neck. Azriel blinked at you in a daze. His eyes held confusion as he glanced around, realizing he was in his room back at the House of Wind. His beautiful hazel eyes met yours again, glowing gold in the soft faelight.

“Azriel,” you breathed out, reaching forward to grab his hand. “You’re…you’re awake.”

“I-I think I am,” he said, his words still slurring a bit. “But you’re touching me and I’m not in pain and normally this usually only happens in my dreams.”

You smiled through the tears sliding down your face, tenderly cupping his cheek.

“You’re awake,” you replied. “You’re awake and I’m here, touching you and it doesn’t hurt because the bargain has been broken. You are my mate, Azriel.”

A dopey smile took over Azriel’s face. “I’m your mate.”

You nodded with a small laugh. “You’re my mate, Azriel. And I am yours.”

“You are mine,” he repeated softly, then lurched forward like all of his memories finally came back. You jumped into action, helping him sit up.

“Careful,” you said. “You’re still healing. You’ve been asleep for a little over a week now.”

“What! W-what happened?”

You brushed some of his hair from his forehand, running your fingers through it. Now that you could touch each other without causing him pain, you weren’t ever going to stop. He leaned into your touch, looking up at you with such reverence and love, it caused your cheeks to turn pink.

“I kind of…lost it when Koschei was about to kill you,” you finally answered, your voice a mere whisper. “My magic erupted and I choked him out. I didn’t kill him but it gave us enough time to get out of there. I broke the wards like you told me to and my brother came for us.”

“Are you telling me that my mate choked out a Death God?” He grinned at you and you lightly smacked his shoulder.

“It’s not funny, Az. You nearly died! Do you know how awful this past week has been? I…I thought I might never talk to you again. I thought you might never wake up!”

Azriel lifted your hand and pressed a kiss to your palm. “I know, babygirl. How do you think I felt all those days you were trapped with Koschei? I wanted to get you the minute he shadowed you away but Rhysand wouldn’t let me go.”

Well, Azriel using your brother’s full name told you exactly how he was feeling towards his High Lord at the moment.

“I’m glad he didn’t,” you said, sternly. “You would’ve died and I would’ve given up. The only thing that kept me going in there was the thought of you, Azriel. The thought that maybe, maybe I could find my way back to you.”

Azriel wiped at the tears falling from your eyes, gently. “I’m so sorry, princess. I’m sorry for everything.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant that the mating bond finally snapped between us…if it meant that I could have you now.”

“I’m yours in any way you want me, princess,” Azriel reaffirmed, yanking you down onto his lap and wrapping his arms around you despite your protests because of his injuries. He placed a kiss on your forehead. “I’m yours from now until always.”

You pulled away to look him in the eyes, your heart pulsing at everything you found in them.

“And I am yours, Azriel,” you whispered. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He smiled, fully smiled. “Good, because I’m never letting you go.”

And then he pressed a passionate kiss against your lips. A kiss free of pain. A kiss that was full of every single emotion he felt towards you—admiration, craving, devotion, but above all else, love.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Taglist:

@kalulakunundrum @going-through-shit @thelov3lybookworm @tinystarfishgalaxy @cat-or-kitten @abysshaven @vhjlucky13 @polli05927 @nightcourtwritings @wicked-mind @mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @nightless @a-frog-with-a-laptop @woodland-mist @tothestarsandwhateverend @lizziesfirstwife @e-dollly @hyemishii @pricklepearbloom

@whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @bookishbroadwaybish @pinkangelskies @naturakaashi @sofietargaryen @minakay @alexboshallex @amysangel @i-am-infinite @furiousbooklover @glitterypirateduck @valencia-rou @pinkcowracing @marvelpotter @kennedy-brooke @stupidwingboy @foreverrandomwritings @marvelouslovely-barnes @persephonesong @furiousbooklover @dxjaaaa @kristeristerin @naturakaashi @starlightshowdown @torchbearerkyle @emme-looou @wiseheartzombie @moonlwghts @f4iry-bell @imnotsiriusyouare @val-writesstuff @saltedcoffeescotch @toxic-nathyyy @feiwelinchen @bookslut420 @awkwardnerd @mis-lil-red @exhaustedpotat0

@wallacewillow0773638 @elle4404 @bubybubsters @planetwaynez @kemillyfreitas @furiousbooklover @naturakaashi @marina468 @justbattlecriesdear @pyrostatic @running-writing@esposadomd @aria-chikage @rachelnicolee @daeneeryss @inkedaztec @callsign-magnolia @elle4404 @mell-bell @unstablefemme @running-writing @lostinpages13 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @blessthepizzaman @jenniferpendragon @minnieoo @crazylokonugget @mybestfriendmademe @brandywineeeee @aunicornmademedoit @clara-geekhime @acourtofbatboydreams

@bbuckysbeardd @ithan-holstroms-girl @fightmedraco @strangersundermybed @magicstrengthandcourage @witchymomfrien @isa1b2h3 @wine-kissed @when-worlds-end @hannzoaks @depressedreader209 @dr4g0ngirl @brandinicole911 @fairywriter-oracle @quinzzelx @sweetcarolina-24 @chxosangxl @zeroangelo13 @taeluvspurple @kaysav608 @notfairytaless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @hiraethjules @florenceivy @nyx-the-alien @agent-anna @lucky7rosie @lilah-asteria @5onedirection5 @slytherintaco @taylorgriffin

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #rhysand's sister #azriel x y/n #azriel angst

1K notes · View notes

crystallinestars · 3 months ago

Text

NSFW Alphabet - Jiaoqiu

The 2.5 story quest destroyed me, so I wrote this to cope. This is probably the most detailed and longest alphabet I have written so far. Jiaoqiu ended up being kinkier than intended, but I hope you guys enjoy. These HCs take place some time before 2.5.

Jiaoqiu x fem!Reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

As a doctor, Jiaoqiu is good at spotting any signs of discomfort in your body and knowing what to do to help you feel better. He usually runs a warm bath with herbs for both of you to soak in to alleviate any soreness or fatigue and clean yourselves up. If a bath is not an option, he’ll wipe you down with a damp cloth at the very least.

Jiaoqiu carefully massages any parts of your body that have been restrained or forced into one position for too long to stimulate blood flow. He's gentle with you, carefully caressing your face and kissing any mark he left on your skin as if saying sorry for being too rough on you. He also makes you drink water to keep yourself hydrated.

He’s very caring toward you but can underestimate or ignore his aches and pains, so he appreciates it when you return the favor and take care of him, too.

If he’s not too tired, Jiaoqiu also whips up a simple but delicious meal for you to enjoy and regain your stamina if either of you has business to attend to afterward.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jiaoqiu likes to joke that he’s perfect all over—from his looks, down to his abilities— but if he were to be serious, the foxian would choose his hands as his favorite body part. Despite the war making him doubt his worth as a healer, the fact remains that his hands saved the lives of many soldiers. Moreover, his hands allow him to cook delicious and nutritious dishes for others to enjoy and seeing their happiness at eating his food brings Jiaoqiu a sense of satisfaction. Being able to touch and caress your body is also a huge plus, so how could he not favor his hands?

On you, he adores your face. More specifically, your facial expressions. Don’t get him wrong, he finds you very pretty from head to toe, but Jiaoqiu simply loves the various expressions you make. Whether it’s the way your face lights up in delight when eating his cooking, or how your brows scrunch and lips purse into a thin line while glaring at him for teasing you, or the way you wince in pain when sampling his super spicy dishes, or the soft way you look at him when saying you love him—Jiaoqiu adores them all. Even if you’re not very expressive, Jiaoqiu will try his best to get a reaction out of you because he likes seeing the different sides of you. Plus, the expressions you make when orgasming or when he pleasures you also fill him with pride. He likes knowing he makes you feel good, and that these cute faces of yours are reserved for his viewing pleasure only.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Jiaoqiu’s semen is an off-white color and has a jelly-like consistency. His cum tastes a bit salty.

Jiaoqiu enjoys filling you with his cum or painting your skin with it (especially your lower belly or back), though he does have a slight preference for ejaculating inside you, be it your pussy or mouth. He also enjoys pouring his cum onto bits of good and feeding them to you (more on that in the kinks section).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jiaoqiu won’t tell you outright, but he has a keen nose and can smell where you are in your menstrual cycle. Your needy scent during your most fertile period increases his horniness, so he tends to get more handsy with you during that time.

He can also smell when you are about to get your period, and preps for it by cooking dishes infused with herbs meant to alleviate cramping and pain.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before joining the war as a medic, Jiaoqiu did have one partner he was intimate with, though the relationship did not last long. As such, he has a bit of experience. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough for Jiaoqiu to know what to do.

Even so, he pays careful attention to your guidance and reactions when having sex. He may have experience, but he knows each person has different preferences, and he wants to learn all the ways you like being touched so he can cater to your needs.

As a doctor, he’s very knowledgeable about the body, so he knows which areas can bring great pleasure when stimulated just right. There’s a good chance he will find an erogenous zone on your body that you didn’t even know you had.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Jiaoqiu really likes positions where you’re on top. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus, etc… are all ones he likes because he can sit back and let you do most of the strenuous work. He keeps his hands securely on your hips and helps guide you up and down his cock, admiring the view of your body bouncing on his lap.

Additionally, he is fond of spooning. Laying on your sides with his elbow under one of your knees, hiking your leg up in the air while he leisurely thrusts into you is both comfy and hot for him. It also allows him easy access to kiss and mark your neck or shoulders, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

Jiaoqiu also enjoys upright doggystyle and pronebone. Regular doggystyle is fine, but he likes to press your back flush against his chest, wrap his arms around your waist, and rest his chin on your shoulder so he can watch how your jaw goes slack and eyes glaze over while he fucks you nice and deep. After all, he loves to watch your expressions of pleasure.

The foxian is a bit possessive, particularly when he’s feeling jealous or horny from smelling you during your fertile window. Pronebone is a great position for him because it makes him feel like you’re his and his alone. Trapping you under his weight, fucking you deeply while marking your neck, shoulders, and back in bite marks gives him a primal sense of satisfaction.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Jiaoqiu can be a little goofy or serious depending on your needs, but he’s typically a nice blend of both. He tries to keep the mood lighthearted with an occasional harmless taunt or tease to get a reaction out of you, but he doesn’t overdo it. He approaches sex responsibly, and does his best to relax you and take your feelings seriously. It’s important to him that you enjoy the experience, after all. If a little joke or a whispered reassurance helps you feel more at ease, then he’ll do whatever is necessary to make you comfortable.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has a bush of curly pink hair down there that he keeps neatly trimmed, but it lacks the ombré of the rest of his hair. It’s one solid, dark pink hue.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Jiaoqiu isn’t one to wax poetic during sex, but he does bring his version of romance into it. You can feel his love for you mainly through his actions. His touches are always gentle, never rough or bruising. His lips leave kisses all over your skin, covering your face, neck, shoulders, and back in a branding of love.

Jiaoqiu always holds you close to him, desiring the feeling of your bodies pressed flush together as you make love. Whether you’re on top or he is, his hands gravitate toward your body and trace the contours of your figure, admiring how he can call someone as beautiful as you his lover. He didn’t think he would fall in love again after the war left him so numb and afraid of attachment, but you and Feixiao helped to heal his wounded heart, for which he is forever grateful. He holds you in high regard for you made him feel alive with your mere presence and touched his heart deeply where he thought nothing but ashes remained.

Jiaoqiu likes to cup your face when you have sex and trace his thumb along your cheek in a tender gesture. Even if you look like a drooling mess from what he’s doing to you, he gently cradles your face and murmurs how cute you look before leaning in for a sweet kiss. The healer is always loving toward you, even while engaging in kinkier play.

On the occasions where you two have romantic sex, Jiaoqiu lets his guard down and exposes his vulnerable side. He seeks comfort in your closeness, treating your body with gentleness and reverence, and feels overwhelmed in a good way when you treat him just as tenderly in return. Times like these result in slow lovemaking and whispered “I love you”s where he holds your hand and touches his forehead to yours, your gazes meeting. During such moments, Jiaoqiu is more vocal about his feelings, murmuring quiet compliments and praises about how happy he is to be with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite, and masturbates about three times a week, mainly as a way to relieve stress. That number went down once he entered a relationship with you since he finds sex more fun than jacking off by his lonesome.

When he wants to masturbate, Jiaoqiu chooses moments when he��s completely alone, though he still muffles his voice just in case. He likes to start slow, leisurely pumping his cock to stoke the flames of desire in his abdomen, before speeding up and gripping his dick tighter. He sometimes uses toys to help him reach release faster, like vibrators or warming lube for the added sensation.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Jiaoqiu is a switch. He’s comfortable being dominant and taking the lead in the bedroom, enjoying having you at his mercy. Likewise, he can be submissive and find relief in relinquishing control and being taken care of, but can be a bit bratty as a sub due to his sharp tongue.

As a foodie, it’s no surprise that he enjoys food play. Garnishing your body in tasty morsels and drizzling sauces (not spicy) over your skin makes you look like a delicious treat. Like a hungry cat, he licks his lips before diving in to consume the food off your body, licking up every crumb. He loves your body, and he loves good food, so having both at the same time is like heaven.

Aside from decorating your body with food, he also enjoys the idea of covering food in your or his cum. He likes gathering up some of your slick onto a bite of food, like a strawberry, before consuming it. Similarly, he likes smearing some of his ejaculate onto food and feeding it to you with his cum acting as garnish.

Along with food play, Jiaoqiu is into temperature and sensation play. He likes blindfolding you and watching your reactions to him running feathers, ice cubes, warm towels, his tail, and many other textured items along your skin and erogenous zones. He’s also a fan of receiving this treatment since his other senses become heightened with the loss of his sight, and the stimulation feels novel and exciting. If you stimulate his erogenous zones using this method, he’ll become aroused quite quickly.

Additionally, Jiaoqiu enjoys mirror sex. As much as he loves reverse cowgirl and doggystyle, these positions obscure your pretty face from him, and it’s a pity because he loves your facial expressions. The perfect solution to his dilemma is to have sex in front of a full-length mirror. It allows Jiaoqiu to see how your face slackens with pleasure, how you bite your lip to muffle a moan, or how your eyes roll back when he hits a good spot. He doesn’t want you to miss out on how ravishing you look, so he cups your chin and gently guides your head to make you look in the mirror and see the debauched state you’re in, murmuring for you to watch how well you take his cock.

Another one of his kinks is hair-pulling. He enjoys it when you lightly tug on his hair, whether when he’s got his face buried between your legs or during sex. He sometimes lets out a soft growl when you do that.

Jiaoqiu enjoys a bit of pain. He mainly prefers things like biting, hair pulling, or electric shocks to get that high, but can handle whipping and spanking if you’re gentle with him. Despite his attraction to pain, he doesn’t enjoy rough treatment. He can also enjoy light choking (receiving) provided you can do it safely and build up trust with him.

To add to the long list, Jiaoqiu also likes light bondage with scarves or handcuff (giving and receiving), and if you’re willing, he’s interested in trying shibari on you. Some of his other kinks are biting and marking, edging, blindfolds, and dirty talk.

However, not every session with Jiaoqiu is this kinky. He does enjoy vanilla sex where you can both just relish in the intimacy and romance of the connection, sharing sweet kisses and tender touches.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Jiaoqiu prefers having sex at home where things can be kept private and he has access to all kinds of equipment to spice up your sessions. He wouldn’t risk doing it in other places and potentially getting caught since he has an image to maintain as Feixiao’s retainer.

At home though, almost every room is fair game except the kitchen. Jiaoqiu considers the kitchen his workspace and doesn’t like the idea of having sex where he works to make medicine. Otherwise, places like the couch, office desk, and bathtub are all potential lovemaking spots, though he does prefer the bed since it makes it easy to cuddle and fall asleep afterward.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Usually, when you stroke Jiaoqiu’s ears, he feels a sense of peaceful relaxation, but if you rub the sensitive spot at the base of his ear or run your fingers along the rim of his ears just right, the pleasurable tingles can become arousing for him.

He also gets turned on by your obvious desire for him. Give him a few sensual caresses, whisper a tasteful innuendo in his ear, a lustful look, and his interest is piqued. He finds excitement in a sexually charged game of cat and mouse, regardless of which one of you is chasing or being chased.

Jiaoqiu can smell when you're ovulating. The scent is weak, but his sharp nose can pick up on when you're feeling horny, and it influences his libido. As mentioned previously, he can get more handsy with you during that time.

Another thing that arouses Jiaoqiu are your reactions to his teasing. If his teasing manages to fluster or arouse you, he’ll keep pushing your buttons to make you even more flustered. Something about your flushed cheeks, shallow breaths, and wavering voice makes him want to tease you more and get a greater reaction out of you. You look so cute when flustered, positively adorable, even. Just how much cuter would you look and sound if he touched your chest? Kissed your neck? Made you moan? Why don’t you show him, darling~?

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Absolutely no sharing. Jiaoqiu gets jealous easily, so threesomes get a hard no from him. He is also prideful, and dislikes being humiliated or degraded. It’s an instant turn-off for him.

Although he's okay with being hurt, he won’t do things that might harm you, such as asphyxiation, impact play, or knife play. He’s a healer—he could never bring himself to hurt you that way, even if you begged him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jiaoqiu loves eating not only hotpot but also pussy. He could spend hours between your legs, burying his tongue into your cunt and lapping at your slick. He wants to see you fall apart under his mouth, so he snakes one arm around your hips and pins them down, taking your clit between his lips. He softly sucks on it while deftly flicking his tongue over the bud, ears twitching when he hears you moan.

To truly bring you over the edge, Jiaoqiu slips two fingers into your dripping cunt and curls them to find that roughly textured spot he knows will make you keen for him. The dual assault of his mouth and fingers never fails to make you see stars as you orgasm, and Jiaoqiu opens his eyes to soak in the sight of you unraveling under his touch. It turns him on to see you feel this good because of him, and he can’t get enough of the experience, so he ends up eating you out for a while longer, making you come undone over and over until you’re tugging at his hair to spare you from the overstimulation.

He’s always breathless by the end, face glistening and dripping with your juices, but the look of desire in his golden eyes promises he’s not through with you. Not when you’ve got him so hard and aroused from watching you fall apart on his tongue.

If you want to return the favor, the foxian healer will be more than happy to watch you go down on him. When you blow him, Jiaoqiu tends to be more vocal, unable to fully hold back his soft sighs and strained moans. If you rub the base of his tail while sucking him off, he’ll buck into your mouth with a soft hiss of your name.

Jiaoqiu has a tendency to keep at least one hand on your head while you work your mouth along his cock, guiding your pace or gripping your hair when he feels his orgasm approaching. The closer he is to orgasm, the more he will squirm, running his hands through your hair, gently urging you to take him deeper or bucking his hips into your mouth. Jiaoqiu's usually sly smile gets replaced by a flushed, slack-jawed expression of pure pleasure, tail lashing in excitement behind him. However, he still tries to maintain his composure and murmurs gentle encouragements and praises so you'll keep going, before his words get cut off by a choked moan as he spills down your throat. He also goes weak in the knees when you suck his testicles.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay, prolonging it for as long as possible, but for the actual act, he enjoys a more moderate pace. On a rare occasion, he might play around with the speed of his thrusts, going from moderate, to slow, to fast just to tease you, but overall, he likes to maintain a moderate and steady space. Not too slow to the point it feels teasing, yet not too fast so you won't wear yourselves out too quickly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As mentioned above, Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay and draw out the session, but he can be convinced to go for a quickie if you show your strong desire for him. Though if either of you are horny enough to want a quick fuck, Jiaoqiu would prefer to settle it with oral sex.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jiaoqiu is willing to take risks in the bedroom to an extent. He’s eager to try new things to see if there’s something either or both of you can discover you like, but he isn’t willing to have sex in public places or get rough with you. He would much rather be the one treated roughly than hurt you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This foxian healer doesn’t exercise much, so his stamina isn’t high. He lasts an average amount in bed and goes for only one round, but his foreplay is usually drawn out for quite a while, making the session lengthy. Sex is more than just the act of copulation, he says. Foreplay is just as important, if not more so.

If he’s under the effect of an aphrodisiac, then Jiaoqiu lasts another 1-2 rounds, but he becomes dead tired afterward and is likely to pass out quickly once it's over.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Jiaoqiu owns a few toys for himself, mainly a bullet vibrator. The vibrating sensations against his cock and other erogenous zones provide a powerful stimulation that gets him going.

For you, he has a whole box of toys he want to try. Blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, electric wands, etc… He’s eager to test them out on you to see how you’ll react. Will introduce toys he thinks you might like into your sessions, though you don’t have to accept them if you don’t want them.

He’s not opposed to you using toys on him, particularly the electric wand, wax candles, and handcuffs. He might put up a fuss, but he does enjoy it when you play with and stimulate his body. Just make sure to properly care for him afterwards.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jiaoqiu loves teasing others, and you are no exception. He enjoys messing with you in your daily life to see your reactions, but he loves teasing you during sex even more. He teases you by tying you up and stimulating your sensitive spots with sex toys or feathers, giving you just enough pleasure to feel good but not enough to make you orgasm, until you’re writhing and begging for more stimulation. While fucking you, Jiaoqiu can also switch up the pace of his thrusts from moderate to slow or completely still just so he can hear your frustrated whines and watch you desperately push your hips back against his, before suddenly pounding into you at a quick pace.

Jiaoqiu is even better at verbal teasing, particularly while edging or fucking you silly. He might say “Oh my, there’s drool running down your chin. Does it feel that good?” Or “You’re dripping wet, dear. Can you feel how easily my fingers slide inside your pretty pussy? Aeons, you’re squeezing them so tightly, do you want me inside you that badly?” and the like.

If you decide to tease him back, it’s best that you’re nice about it. Jiaoqiu might kick up a fuss at first since he’s more used to teasing than being teased, but he can enjoy having you tie him up and run your hands along his body or stimulate him with sex toys. However, he doesn't take kindly to being edged for a long time because he gets impatient and frustrated easily for being denied. The next day, he'll cook a super spicy dish full of foods you dislike and makes you eat it as revenge, or he'll edge you to oblivion the next time you have sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Jiaoqiu has two modes depending on who is in control. If he’s dominating, he’ll have better control of his voice and will let out grunts and soft moans. He also talks a lot, making teasing comments or talking dirty to rile you up.

If you’re dominating, he’ll be whinier. He lets out choked gasps, quiet hisses, and louder moans. Will also try to shake your control by responding with witty retorts to your teasing, but if you successfully maintain your authority, he’ll reluctantly submit and whine.

In either scenario, when he gets close to orgasm, his voice turns breathless and obtains a raspy quality, and he tends to call out your name.

Jiaoqiu is a huge fan of hearing your voice. Even if you're the quiet type, he does his best to make you moan louder because he loves hearing you feel good. If you moan his name, it riles him up so much that he has to resist the urge to cum on the spot. He really loves hearing you call his name in that wanton voice.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jiaoqiu knows how to make aphrodisiacs. If anyone’s watched The Apothecary Diaries where Maomao made aphrodisiacs, it’s similar to that. Jiaoqiu makes chocolate or chocolate-covered fruit (or another kind of dessert if you’re not a chocolate fan) with aphrodisiac properties. He likes the idea of using aphrodisiacs to occasionally spice up your sex life, but he only gives them to you with your explicit awareness and consent. He would never sneakily give it to you.

Jiaoqiu can adjust the dosage and potency to make the aphrodisiac quick or slow acting, stronger or weaker, etc… depending on the kind of sex you’re looking to have. It’s so much fun to watch how your gaze clouds over and your behavior changes once the aphrodisiac kicks in. He loves seeing you needy for him, it’s a massive turn-on. Whether you pin him down and have your way with him or become a needy, pliant mess for him to do with as he pleases—either outcome is fun. He just loves feeling desired by you and making you crave his touch.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Has a slender cock with a slight upward curve and a couple of prominent veins along the underside. 11.5 cm (4.5 inches) in length and 10 cm (3.9 inches) in girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite and craves sex a few times a week. However, due to his busy life as Feixiao’s retainer and personal healer, he’s sometimes too drained to engage in lovemaking as often as he’d like. Still, he tries to squeeze in some intimate time with you 1-2 times a week. Even if they're not frequent, the sessions last a long time due to his love for foreplay, so it is usually enough to satisfy his needs.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has nothing to attend to afterward, Jiaoqiu will help you clean up and then cuddle under the sheets. Even when he feels the pull of sleep, he resists it so he can enjoy the afterglow with you. During moments like these, he likes to chat about anything and everything, like how your day went, which dishes he plans to cook for you tomorrow, what hotpot place you should visit during a future date, the silly shenanigans he got up to with Feixiao and Moze that day, etc… it’s just a sweet time to catch up before you both succumb to sleep.

When settling in to sleep, Jiaoqiu likes to spoon. He’s fine with being the big or little spoon, though has a slight preference for big spoon because he likes burying his nose in your hair and smelling your scent. It’s comforting to him. If he senses you're about to fall asleep, he kisses your forehead and wishes you goodnight before hugging you closer and covering you with his tail.

He also lets you gently pet his ears or tail, finding the caresses soothing after a strenuous round of sex. If you’re gentle enough, your touch can relax and lull Jiaoqiu to sleep. Though it might be hard to tell he’s asleep at first glance due to the natural state of his closed eyes, his lack of verbal responses and slow, even breathing will give him away.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #star rail x reader #jiaoqiu x reader #jiaoqiu x female reader #jiaoqiu x reader smut

569 notes · View notes

lateatnewyork · 10 months ago

Note

Hi lovely! First of all: your writing is amazing. You have a huge potential, keep up your good work! I'm proud of you. Listen, of courseee now that I've flattered you I need to request something xD

SO! I was thinking maybe fluff prompt 11 with Azriel. Like it would be their first pregnancy together and Azriel took some time off from missions to spend time with you? He's being super protective and all, always having a protective hand over the reader's belly- you get the idea. And like they would be laying on the couch and he would just randomly whiff of the reader's scent filled with her pregnancy hormones and be like, delighted with the scent? It was just an idea I had: I figured you would be able to make it into beautiful words. Like always.

Take care!

Babies

Azriel x Rhysand sister!reader

Warnings: pregnancy, fluff, suggestive

Prompts: N/A

Summary: It’s your first pregnancy and Az is being an overprotective mate. But you love it.

a/n dude i literally love @azsazz for all her dad!azriel fics also i don’t think ultrasound pictures are a thing in acotar so bare with me, i hope you don’t mind i didn’t include prompt 11 i just didn’t think it fit into the story.

“You’re pregnant,” Madja’s voice rang through my ears.

“Pregnant, that can’t be” I whisper. “Y/N my dear it turns out you are really fertile, more so than normal fae females,”

“I’m having a baby,” I mumble out, “I need to tel Azriel, when should I see you next?”

It wasn’t as if Azriel and I hadn’t talked about children. Fuck we had come up with baby names before all of this. So why was I so nervous as I waited for Az to come home.

Madja had given me a picture of the babe. I had it laid on a table with a cake that said “You’re gonna be a dad”.

The time seemed to pass slower, the clock’s ticking dimmed. I could hear the songs of the birds returning for the night, see the sunset pour into the room.

The door clicked, and I practically jumped out of my seat and rushed to the open it. I think I gave Azriel a heart attack with how quickly, I opened the door and pounced on him. He reciprocated my actions with a searing kiss.

“Hi,” I whisper against his lips, he chuckles and shuts the door, making sure to lock it. “What’s gotten you so excited?” he asks.

“I have a surprise for you in the kitchen,” I murmur my mind still hazy from the kiss.

“Oh you do?” he smirks. Rolling my eyes, I jump off and grab his hand, “It’s not that kind of surprise,”.

Guiding him by his arm, I drag him towards the kitchen. Standing on my tippy toes, my hand goes to cover his eyes right before we enter the kitchen.

I look around at the swirls of black surrounding both Az and I’s torsos. Leaning down, I whisper “Don’t tell him anything,”.

As if they hear me they frantically move up and down as if saying yes.

Taking a deep breath in, we walk into the kitchen. Reluctantly pulling my hand away from his face, I look at him in anticipation of his reaction.

His eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings, he looks at the picture of the babe in my stomach, then his eyes wonder to the cake. He takes in the words written on the cake.

Turning around he gapes at me.

“We’re having a- you’re not joking right?” he says frantically. Unable to form words I shake my head as a no.

Within seconds, he’s picked me up and he’s twirling me around in the air.

I shriek at first but then it dies down into a soft smile as I see how happy he is. Once he’s put me down on the ground, he kneels and pulls up my shirt.

“Mummy and Daddy love you so much” he kisses my belly.

Halfway through my pregnancy, Azriel forced Rhysand to let him off until the babe was born. He spent every waking moment with me, making sure I was drinking enough water, eating enough food and stuff like that.

The pregnancy made him more protective, he growled at every single male he saw, that looked at me. But seeing the fearsome spymaster, on his knees kissing my belly or holding my belly from behind to relieve me of some of the pain was all worth it.

He had cried the day the babe’s scent finally came. He had promised me that he would be the best father ever. Not that I had any doubt about it.

I stayed at home mostly, to satisfy Azriel and also because no one wants to walk around a lot when you’re so close to your due date.

That’s why I was currently lying on top of Azriel, my back pressed against his chest as he read me one of the books Nesta had given me.

But all I could focus on was his voice. A rich melody filling the room like a sweet song. I shuffled against him.

He took a deep breathe, taking in the scent of the babe. And my pregnancy hormones. The second they hit his senses, he let out a deep growl that went straight down my spine to my heated core.

I carefully twisted around so I could kiss him. His soft lips pressed against mine, sent me into a frenzy. The way his arms grazed up my shorts and down the arms of my sleeveless top.

“Az,” I whine against his mouth, “Don’t be a tease,”.

“I would never dream of it my love,” he says grinning.

My hormones swapped out for a droopy feeling. I yawned against his chest. He chuckled and kissed my head. Going back to reading, he drew mindless circles on my exposed shoulder. And finally for the first time in days the babe had finally let me sleep.

“You and our daughter are my heart, darling” and that’s the last thing.

Cassian had barged into the living room of the couple’s new house. “How’s my favourite sister in la-”.

Azriel tells him to shut up as he motions to the sleeping figure on top of him. “Sorry,” Cassian winces.

Just seconds later Rhysand stomps into the room, “Where’s my sister?” he asks as he looks over at Cassian. “Don’t be too loud you’re going to wake the demon,” he whispers pointing over at Azriel and I. Lifting up my middle finger, I aim it towards Cassian and then mutter out a “Fuck you” loud enough for them to hear.

“Althea doesn’t like you, Rhys” I say, giggling.

“Oh and how would you know that sister dear?” He says with a roll of his eyes.

Just as I’m about to answer, I get interrupted.

“Althea is such a pretty name,” Cassian squeals.

“Yes we know, now get out” Azriel sighs exasperatedly.

They start protesting but I cut them off, “Either get out or bring me some cake,”.

As they walk out Cassian mutters under his breath, “Demon,”

“I heard that!”

a/n hope you liked this anon! dad!az just holds a special place in my heart 🫶🏻

593 notes · View notes

nox140497 · 10 months ago

Text

A Midnight Crisis

Prompt: No

Request: No

Summery: Colby has a panic attack late one night.

Prompt Number: None

Pairings: Colby Brock x Female Reader

Masterlist

Prompt List

_______________________________

Colby shut his laptop with more force than intended and rubbed his tired eyes. It was past 2am, and he was no closer to finishing the script for his next video.

Glancing around the dimly lit editing room, stacks of notes and camera equipment stared back at him, each item representing hours of work ahead. The never-ending to-do list seemed to stretch into infinity as pressure and perfectionism gnawed away at his sanity.

A tapping at the door pulled Colby from his spiraling thoughts. "Sweetheart, come to bed," said his girlfriend Y/N softly. "You've been at it for hours."

Colby nodded wearily and followed her downstairs. As they curled up under the blankets, Y/N gently stroked his damp hair. "What's keeping you up?" she asked softly.

Colby took a shaky breath. "I just feel so behind. If I don't post at least twice a week, the algorithm will bury me. And the comments..." His voice cracked. "People are always criticising - the lighting, my jokes, who I film with, everything. I try so hard, but it's never enough."

Y/N pulled him closer. "You work like three men already. No one achieves perfection, at least of all in a few hours each time."

Colby knew she was right, but the churning anxiety refused to subside. What if his viewers lost interest? Sponsors pulled funding? It had happened to bigger creators - he wasn't immune.

"I'll never sleep at this rate," he sighed. Reluctantly climbing out of bed, Colby headed back to his prison of screens and cables. Y/N followed, concern etched on her face.

Back in the office, Colby began rewriting his script frantically, deleting and retyping sentences over and over as familiar panic started clawing its way up his throat. What if he picked the wrong topic? Messed up the comedic timing? He typed so fast his hands began to cramp.

A stabbing pain in his chest made Colby gasp for air. Black spots danced before his eyes as the walls closed in, trapping him under the crushing expectation to perform.

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around him from behind. "Colby, you need to breathe," urged Y/N calmly. She took his trembling hand and placed it on her chest. "In and out, slowly. I've got you."

Colby fought to match her even breaths as crushing anxiety morphed into racking sobs. "I'm losing control," he cried into Y/N's shoulder. "What if I can't do this anymore?"

"Shh, it's okay," soothed Y/N gently. "Come, let's get some air."

Walking unsteadily through the silent house, Colby slowly began to regain control of his breathing in the cool night. Y/N never let go of his hand, grounding him through the lingering panic.

On the back porch, they sat close together, watching the stars. An uneasy silence stretched between them as Colby gathered the courage to speak.

"I'm scared this will break me," he admitted shakily. "I pour everything into videos only to be constantly worried if it's decent enough. It's not making me happy anymore - it's destroying me." A single tear rolled down his cheek.

Y/N gently wiped it away and took his face in her hands. "You are so much more than the metrics or comments say. I see how talented and kind you are every day. This channel was supposed to be fun, so please don't let it ruin your health or us."

Her earnest eyes conveyed nothing but compassion. All the resentful feelings Colby harbored towards himself began to melt away under Y/N's unconditional love and support.

As the first light of dawn broke over the trees, Colby finally felt some of the crushing weight lift. Exhausted but calmer, he leaned into Y/N's shoulder, grateful beyond words that she saw his true worth, not defined by meaningless views or numbers on a screen. This was only the beginning of getting his life back on track, but with her by his side, Colby believed things could get better.

A week had passed since Colby's panic attack, and he was beginning to feel more like himself again. Taking time completely away from YouTube at Y/N's suggestion had brought unexpected relief.

Without daily stresses to focus on, Colby rediscovered long-lost interests like photography and gardening. He spent afternoons going for hikes with Y/N, marvelling at nature's beauty through fresh eyes. Their home filled with snapshot memories from each outing, captured joyfully on film.

With structure and rest, Colby's anxiety gradually released its grip. For the first time in months he slept well, free from dreams about botched collabs or unkind comments. Y/N watched him awaken each day looking more energised, reminding her gently of the importance to maintain this lifestyle.

One sunny afternoon found Colby immersed in tending roses along the fence border. As he trimmed away wilted blooms, flashes of memories surfaced - cramming scripts at 3am, editing well into dawn, forgetting to eat or take breaks. Exhausted, sore hands moved on auto-pilot to create a never-ending stream of content.

His downward spiral had been gradual yet forceful, spurred on by perfectionism and fear of slipping in the algorithm. But Y/N's care dragged Colby kicking and screaming from that dark routine, revealing how lonely the path of overwork had become. A cold shudder passed over him at the realisation of how close he came to burning out completely.

Wiping sweat from his brow, Colby's gaze fell upon Y/N watching tenderly from the porch. Her bright smile warmed his soul, reminding him that life held more meaningful things than views or trends. Carrying the gardening tools inside, Colby collapsed on the couch beside her with a happy sigh.

"Feeling better?" she asked, handing him a cool drink. Colby nodded gratefully. "I'm amazed at the difference a week makes. Things seem clearer now."

He stretched comfortably, thoughts drifting back over stressful nights locked away working endlessly to please abstract metrics, while neglecting real connection. That loneliness had almost swallowed him whole.

"Thank you for pulling me back from the edge," Colby told Y/N earnestly, taking her hands. "I lost sight of what really matters, but you've given me a new perspective."

Y/N leaned in for a lingering kiss. "I'm just glad to have you here, happy and healthy. Promise me you won't let it get that bad again?" Smiling, Colby promised to always communicate how he felt from now on, never bottle things up until breaking point.

That evening, the couple discussed potential strategies for Colby to maintain wellbeing going forward. Setting stricter schedules with enforced breaks, delegating tasks, limiting social media use - simple changes aimed at sustainably managing pressure and burnout prevention.

Colby knew regaining control would take diligent effort. But with Y/N by his side, nothing felt impossible anymore. Her patience and reassurance instilled a calm confidence in his ability to return renewed, without sacrificing mental wellness. The following week, Colby finally felt ready to resume video making.

Armed with new perspective and healthier habits, Colby crafted a short update video explaining his break to concerned viewers. Speaking candidly about mental health awareness and balance, he saw more supportive comments roll in than ever before. The positive reinforcement served to cement Colby's resolution to prioritise fulfillment through diverse passions instead of basing self-worth on one metric's fluctuations alone.

Weeks turned to months of sustainable creativity. True to his word, Colby kept communication lines open with Y/N, never hesitating to discuss feelings or setbacks. With her encouragement he joined local photography groups and took on freelance opportunities to spread creative wings beyond YouTube alone.

Most importantly, Colby learned to be kind to himself through both triumphs and failures. Looking back on a time when anxiety nearly took control of his life, he was profoundly grateful for Y/N's unconditional love and support. It was this care that gave him strength to overcome adversity and regain balance, emerging healthier and happier than ever before.

#sam and colby #xplr #colby x reader #colby brock #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #colby brock x reader

243 notes · View notes

sweetestlamb · 6 months ago

Text

Remember Me

Author's note: I can't believe it's almost over. I'll miss them so much 😭😭 I've been meaning to write but life is lifing and I never have time so I quickly got this out and hope to post something else tomorrow.

Summary: I was made to love you in every universe.

It's like learning to breathe again after being submerged in water for too long, his lungs burn from the strain but his body knows what to do.

Inhale. Exhale. Remember.

Her smile on the rainy day and the way his heart stopped just for a moment to take her in.

The ache in his chest as she cried desperately lashing out in the hospital and the guilt that threatened to suffocate him.

How deeply he loved her and how full he felt when she finally loved him back, she never said the words but he felt her love all the same.

It was all erased without his permission and then suddenly it was pressing down on him until he could barely breathe. Memories. Not fantasies, or dreams or even hallucinations but memories from a life the he doesn't recall living but his heart does, it feels so real to him, so much so that he can't stop the tears from begin to pour from his eyes.

How could he forget her? How could she let him?

"Sun Jae? Are you in pain? Are you okay? I'll get the doctor."

He blindly grabs at his manager's hand stopping him before he can leave him.

"No. I need you to get Im Sol. I need to talk to her, right now."

"What? Why do you need to talk to her? You need to let this crush go! You almost died tonight, I was so worried about you!"

It doesn't make sense, nothing does anymore and he doesn't even know where to begin in explaining to Dong Seok, he just knows that he has to see Sol. He's never wanted anything more in his whole life, or lives.

"Please. Just get her."

He hears a deep sigh and then it's quiet again and now he just has to wait and hope that she'll come.

That she can help make sense of the mess in his head.

Although he tries to fight it, sleep is a worthy opponent and he loses the battle.

But at least in his sleep she finds him again smiling so beautifully that it's hard to believe that he could have ever forgotten her.

He remembers her laugh, the touch of her hand on his, and every kiss plays like a movie of someone else's life and it ignites a burning in his chest that he's only ever felt since meeting Im Sol.

I was made to love you.

He watches himself whisper those words to her and the gentle smile that forms on her face as she leans over to press their lips together.

But before they can touch he feels himself being shaken from his sleep and he almost rumbles, annoyed to be pulled from a memory so sweet but when he opens his eyes it's not Dong Seok that he sees but her.

His fate.

"What happened? Why are you here? Why are you hurt? You're not supposed to be hurt, I did all of this so you wouldn't ever get hurt!"

She wails at him, his chest tightens as he watches her cry again. Always crying for him.

"Sol. I missed you."

And that makes her freeze her eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears as she stares at him. He stares right back, lifting himself up into a seated position. He needs to sit for this conversation.

"What do you- I shouldn't have come here. I should go."

This time he takes her hand and refuses to let go. He's never letting go ever again. Even if it means he dies, death is worth the touch of her hand.

"Stop running away. I know you want me to live a long life but I can't be happy without you in it."

"What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you when I said that I was talking about....uhhhh I meant-"

He lets her fumble trying to find a way to end her sentence but words escape her and he's done being without her.

" It's me. It's always been me and for me, it's always been you."

Her breath hitches and he reaches across to brush away the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks.

"How?"

"I remember everything. I know why you pushed me away and I know why you're scared to be around me."

For a moment it's like she's frozen in time and then everything erupts and she cries like a child, like her heart is broken and she's lost everything precious in this world, like a weight has been lifted and she's gained everything she's ever wanted.

"Come here." He draws her closer hugging her tightly, healing them both.

He rocks her back and forth as she weeps in his arms and he hums soothing words into her ears.

"You did good. I'm sorry I forgot you, I'm sorry I left you all alone."

Those words make her pull back and she shakes her head viciously.

"I wasn't lonely. I was fine. Everything was fine, I did what I had to do and I'd do it again."

And he takes offense. Anger so hot it burns rises up in his chest.

"Do you love me?"

His words are hard, they bite the air and smack her across the face.

It's an accusation. And he sees her anger form right back like clouds before a hurricane.

"Do I love you?! You remember everything and you're still asking me that?"

"Yes! You're still lying to me. You'd be fine without me? Well I wouldn't be fine without you! I need you, more than life."

"If you stay beside me then you'll die!"

"And if I don't then I won't live!

He grabs her face as shouts his final plea, baring his entire heart to her on a platter. He's always been consistent.

"Do you understand? If I don't have you then life isn't worth living, Sol. I was made to love you and only you. In every universe. That's my fate."

"Why? Why can't you love someone else? Why can't I save you? Why is fate so cruel?"

That he has no answer to. He's never had to watch her die but she's endured that pain too many times and he knows that's what held her back.

But it's different this time. He's not going to die.

"Nothing's going to happen. They got him. He's never going to hurt anyone ever again."

"Are you sure? He's.. Really..."

She stutters in disbelief and he nods, "Your friend got him. He saved my life too."

"Thank goodness. Thank goodness."

She collapses onto his bed and he tries to suppress the tinge of jealousy that flares. It's not the right time and she loves him, he's seen it through space and time.

"So, stop pushing me away. Please."

There is only silence and then there's sobs and she's gripping his hand just as tightly.

"I..... didn't want to. It hurt everyday. To watch you and know that I couldn't have you, to know that I'd never hear your voice or feel your arms around me or be there to comfort you. I cried every night. I wasn't fine. It felt like stabbing myself in the heart a million times. I-"

"Shhhh. It's okay now. Just give me all the love you've been hiding. I'll take it all."

"Can I?"

She sounds so young and sixteen year old Sol flashes in his mind.

"You can."

She squeezes his hand before bringing it to her mouth and placing a butter soft kiss on his skin.

Then she leans closer and reaches up to caress his face. She stares at him as if she's drinking him in and she says as much, "This beautiful face. I should have enjoyed it more when I had the chance."

He blushes, not used to being called beautiful but he doesn't contradict her. Who is he to deny a compliment?

"Enjoy it now. You can even take a picture."

Her giggle is music to his ears.

"Your ego got bigger."

"Hmmm that's not all that got bigger." He fires back straight faced and then he smirks as her tell tale blush colors her face a vivid red.

"Where is your mind right now? What are you thinking about Sol? Hmmm?"

"Nothing! Shut up! I wasn't thinking about anything dirt-!"

And he probably shouldn't do what he wants to because those other timelines weren't truly them, or were they? It's all so confusing but ever since he watched himself kiss her it's all he's been able to think about. He wants to kiss her desperately, hungrily.

He's too impatient to wait for her to catch up. He kisses her hard, then soft then hard again and it's everything. A taste that he forgot that suddenly takes him over and it's all he can remember now. He twists his head remembering that she liked that, then swipes his tongue in a move that used to make her moan.

"Sunjae.." she moans into his mouth.

Still makes her moan.

"You know he's still recovering you really shouldn't be sucking his face off quite yet." A voice rings it loudly breaking the tension in the room.

She bolts away from him but he doesn't loosen his hold on her. Instead he turns his head to glare at the intruder.

"Get out."

"No. You'll have a scandal if I leave, who knows how far you two will go..." Baek Inhyuk replies with a salacious wiggle of his brows.

It's probably for the best.

There's so much he wants to do with her, and he doesn't want an audience.

He just wants Im Sol.

Now, and forever.

#lovely runner #Soljae #look it's not smut #just cuties getting together and being hungry for each other #i wish we could get 20+ episodes of them #Im Sol protector

111 notes · View notes

sunlighthroughthe-ashes · 6 months ago

Text

"the earth was made for lovers — " and no purer lovers exist than sol and sunjae. fate fell in love with them at first glance: and how could it not? it knew what a miracle it was witnessing: two souls bound to each other beyond the reaches of death and life. forever intertwined. "how could you make me live without you?" sunjae asks — the devastation in his eyes almost a living thing; a bleeding heart. how indeed? how can two people that neither time nor evil could separate stay apart any longer? and then, right after: "i'm sorry i'm late." this boy — this beautiful, beautiful boy. after finding out that sol erased his memories, that he DIED for her — his first instinct is to apologize. TO APOLOGIZE for not remembering her earlier. and the childlike surrender in sol's sobs — because HER sunjae has finally returned. has remembered her. will no longer let her be alone: how she instantly reaches for him. how they reach for each other. a lifetime's worth of love, finally fulfilled. the fact that they got to celebrate just being with each other, savoring the sweetness of each other's company: it meant the world to me. when you walk with pain as your constant companion, ordinary moments like being held in someone's arms, waking up to the face of the person you love most — they take on a kind of holiness. and you can see that blessing bestow itself over both their heads; the profound relief and joy shining in their faces during every scene. because nothing can keep them apart any longer. the callbacks during this episode were beautiful: it means so much to me that sunjae put aside his proposal to let sol pursue her dream. it's the pinnacle of love — he's willing to wait as long as it takes. and why shouldn't he? they have all the time in the world, now. taesung's last scene being him smiling at a happy sol — wishing her well from the bottom of his heart. being the key to their freedom at last. never has a second lead storyline been resolved so gently, with so much kindness. i was in tears for the entire hour: i think my body broke into blossom, it was filled with so much pleasure seeing sol and sunjae be happy together at last. i've always been a reluctant cynic, but i felt my imagination bloom, soften into pink watching sunjae propose to sol while the cherry blossoms looked on, witnessing the weight of three timelines fall away at last — make space for the radiant future: a bride and groom with eyes for no one but each other. love is real. love is reachable, attainable, capable of pouring sunlight into the darkest recesses of the soul: only someone who truly believed that could have made this show. i have loved every second of lovely runner; and no second more so than their expressions at the very end: incandescent with joy, finally free of all fear. they are safe in their love for each other; in the sanctuary of each other's arms.

poet joy harjo said it best: "i am not afraid of love / or its consequence of light."

#lovely runner #byeon woo seok #kdrama #kim hye yoon #tvn drama #tvn lovely runner #kdrama lover #tvn #fantasy kdrama #rom com kdrama

84 notes · View notes

aislinrayne · 5 months ago

Text

[𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱] [𝔖𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱]

𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: Lockwood wants Reader to go to the hospital. Reader does not want to go to the hospital. A mysterious visitor arrives...

ℜ𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤: M

𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: Language, alluded medical trauma, Reader has a past, dealing with fear via anger, allusions to unfortunate and untimely demise, canon typical violence... pretty sure that covers it!

𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: Two chapters in one week?? Who am I. There's only been a few major changes to this one since the original release as I was actually pretty happy with it, so I didn't want to make you wait any longer than was 100% necessary. Shorter word count on this one too since the next two are already monsters

𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.66k

⇠ 𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯

“For the last time, I am not going to the fucking hospital!” she spits, the final threads of her restraint turning to spider’s silk and breaking under the weight of the fear hiding behind her anger. Lockwood’s narrowed eyes glare daggers at her across the thinking cloth. He scoffs as he leans back, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

He swears he can see steam pouring from her ears. She swears he’s an argumentative prick.

Their… ‘disagreement’ has been slowly building over the course of several hours, culminating in an explosion of epic proportions in the kitchen around lunch time. She insists she’s fine, that she barely even has a headache left over from the incident the night before. He insists she’s irritable, and is clearly having difficulties focusing. George – who had spent the previous night in his old room after losing track of time researching an upcoming case – chimes in to mention that isn’t exactly out of the ordinary, and the look she gives him in response could probably peel paint.

He mutters something under his breath about picking something up from Arif’s as he flees the room, grabbing his coat from the floor in front of its designated hook and opening their front door just as Lucy reaches the top step. She quirks an eyebrow and opens her mouth to question his urgent departure, but he vehemently shakes his head to silence her. Grabbing her by the wrist, he drags her behind him as he flees the scene of what he is certain will soon to be a crime.

The first one to break the terse silence of their glaring contest is Lockwood.

“Look, I’m not trying to be an arse-”

“Since when do you have to try?” she interjects bitterly, pushing away from where she’d been leaning against the counter and raising her arms to rake her fingers through her hair. He grits his teeth, trying to bite back a scathing rebuttal. Her fingers lace behind her head and she stares at the ceiling as if begging for strength. She paces back and forth in front of the kitchen sink like a caged animal, and his heart aches at the sight. Even if he disregards whatever past she’s unwilling to disclose and only considers what he knows about the strength and nature of her talent, it’s understandable why she isn’t keen to be surrounded by the painful echoes of lives lost in a multitude of traumatic ways.

That being said; some things are worth facing discomfort for, and her long-term safety will always be at the top of that list to him. He takes a deep breath, schooling his expression into something more neutral before trying another approach.

“I understand you don’t like hospitals, and I respect that you have your reasons,” he assents, “so what about a clinic? Something small practice, with no ghost-locked patients?” He uncrosses his arms and raises his palms in a placating manner, silently imploring her to be reasonable.

She fixes him with a suspicious glare and he worries he’s accidentally stumbled upon a landmine, but it isn’t long before she visibly deflates, dropping her arms and staring intently at her now fidgeting hands instead of meeting his gaze. While it wouldn’t remove the discomfort of the dull lights and surgical cleanliness, nor the chill she still gets from being around doctors in general, not having to be around ghost-locked residents would help a considerable amount…

“Fine,” she eventually mumbles, more misery and reluctance packed into one syllable than he’d ever heard before. She wants nothing more than to hide and wait for the problem to go away, but when he looks at her with those eyes – soft, pleading, filled with distress – she can’t say no to a half-decent compromise. No matter how desperately she wants to. “but only on one condition.”

“Anything,” he replies instantly. He’s too relieved to be embarrassed by his immediate willingness to do whatever she’d ask of him, or by the breathless quality of his voice.

She picks at the skin around her fingernails as she gets lost in a maze of tumultuous thoughts. Showing any sign of weakness isn’t exactly easy for her. Vulnerability is terrifying, and the concept of actually relying on someone else is as intimidating as it is foreign.

Familiar with this pattern by now, Lockwood takes the time to gently rotate his neck and release some of the tension he’d built up. He gives her the space she needs to muster the courage necessary to coax her thoughts into words.

When she does speak again, it’s so quiet he almost can’t hear her.

“Come with me,” she begs, her voice hardly more than a whisper. It’s such a contrast to the bravado and indignant fury from earlier that it almost steals his breath away.

He has to fight every fibre of his being as it screams to cross the table and hold her, to protect her from anything and everything that has ever made her feel the need to make herself small. Suddenly he’s filled with hatred towards faceless memories he’s never even heard as more than fearful cries echoing through the house on the nights she wakes from night terrors she never speaks of come the light of day.

It takes a moment for him to remember how to use his voice again.

Anywhere, he wants to say. “Of course,” he says instead; as though it were a fact, some kind of indisputable truth. As though there was never any other way he could answer. If he were to be completely honest with himself, there wasn’t. He would do anything to have a front row seat to every glimpse of vulnerability showing through the cracks of her perfectly constructed mask.

He’s distracted from his lovesick internal monologue by the sound of an urgent knocking on their front door.

The noise startles her. She jumps, lifting her head to meet his eyes. She raises a challenging eyebrow at him. It’s a look he knows is accusing him of arranging a meeting with a client today and forgetting about it. He shrugs, replying with a series of nods and puzzled looks that he hopes conveys his understanding of her reasons for doubting him, but he genuinely doesn’t know who it could be. He pushes himself out of his seat to go greet their guest.

The sound of her quiet footsteps on the linoleum tells him she’s not far behind, likely planning to eavesdrop from out of sight in case it happens to be trouble knocking. Considering their track record, that’s probably a good call.

His hand grasps the door handle– but something stops him from opening it immediately. A strange shiver down his spine urges him to look through the peephole. The first thing he sees is the top of a balding head, the portly man attached to it coming into view a few seconds later as he steps back to wait and wring his hands. The man looks harmless enough. Lockwood shakes off his unease, slides the locks back, and swings the door open theatrically.

“Good afternoon, sir. Anthony Lockwood of Lockwood and Co., at your service. Do you have an appointment today?” he asks, extending his hand and donning his megawatt smile despite knowing damn well the startled little man did not.

The man in question stares with too-big eyes from behind too-small spectacles, and for a moment Lockwood can almost see a terrified mouse standing frozen on his welcome mat instead. The man gasps and lurches forward, quickly stuffing a clammy and trembling hand into the one offered to him.

“Oh, yes! Yes, very good. My name is Oscar Hughes, pleasure to make your acquaintance,” the mouse/man proclaims, shaking the offered hand vigorously, “I don’t have an appointment, but I do have some information that I think will pique your interest.”

The name lights a spark of recognition at the back of his mind, but Lockwood can’t quite put his finger on why, leaving him standing in awkward silence for a split second longer than he’s comfortable with.

“Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but are you the same Oscar Hughes who owns the Lighthouse Theatre?” asks the woman behind him, and Anthony has the urge to either give her a raise or sweep her off her feet. He makes a mental note to check their wages budget. Oscar dips his head in confirmation, glancing down the street behind him with what seems to be concern.

“It appears I’ve been quite rude. Terribly sorry, Mr. Hughes, why don’t you come in so we can talk in private?” Lockwood accepts the man’s cue and steps aside to allow him entry, returning to the picture of professionalism with zero hesitation. He can almost feel the girl behind him fighting the urge to roll her eyes at him. It’s only once he realises that the shorter man hasn’t moved that he sees the cane in his right hand, bowing under the strain of supporting the majority of his weight. Internally scolding himself for becoming so distracted, Anthony offers Oscar his arm to cross the raised threshold.

As her boss helps the fidgety man into their foyer, she offers him a reassuring smile and extends her hand to take his jacket. He bows his head repeatedly in thanks, firing off a few rapid sentiments of gratitude before allowing himself to be led into the sitting room to discuss the case.

Lockwood takes a seat in the armchair, gesturing to the loveseat to convey his want for their potential client to sit across from him. Oscar hesitates for a split second before shuffling over and dropping onto the well worn cushions.

“Now, that’s much more comfortable. All that’s missing now is some tea and biscuits; would you mind, love?” his voice is soft, the pet name slipping past his lips before he has a chance to think about it. There’s a pause, the slight twitch of his brow the only significant outward sign of his immediate panic. Thankfully, she takes it in stride and exits the room with a quiet affirmation and an air of purpose.

He doesn’t see the blood rushing to her cheeks, or notice her relief at being given an excuse to exit stage right to compose herself. He does find the lack of ribbing slightly unusual, but he figures she’s probably trying not to embarrass him in front of their client. That theory is swiftly dismissed when he remembers she would definitely jump at the opportunity to do precisely that.

He’ll have time to worry more about the implications of that when there isn’t a potentially high-profile client sitting less than five feet away from him, he reminds himself.

Clearing his throat, Lockwood leans back into his seat, crossing his legs and fixing the cuffs of his sleeves in one smooth motion.

“Excellent! While we wait, Mr. Hughes, I believe you’d mentioned having some information that might interest me?”

“Right, to the point, then. You may have heard of the tragic case of Alexandra Wright?” he stares at the younger man expectantly, waiting for confirmation as if the whole of Marylebone hadn’t been following the case for years.

Alexandra Wright had been a young local stage actress at the start of a very promising career when she’d suddenly disappeared without a trace. She’d been playing Titania in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Mr. Hughes' own theatre on the last evening anyone had seen or heard from her. She’d declined her Oberon, Matthew Moffat’s invitation to have a celebratory drink with the cast on the eve of their final performance, opting instead to go home for a quiet evening with her feline companion and a bottle of wine.

Unfortunately she’d never made it back to her flat. Death wasn’t exactly uncommon even in those days, but it was the mystery of it all that made it so hard for the town to move on.

Occasionally there would be whispers of spottings; the grocer down the way who closed late one night would swear he’d seen her hurrying along from ghost lamp to ghost lamp, or Mrs. Peterson who swore her granddaughter had told her of seeing a ghost perfectly matching Alexandra’s description.

Despite the small town rumblings and rumours, no legitimate reports of a Visitor matching her description had been seen since her unusual disappearance.

Until now, if one were to believe the claims of Mr. Hughes.

Apparently, the ghost of Ms. Wright had been Visiting an alley adjacent to the theatre, leaving those unlucky enough to have to pass through even before curfew with a persistent sense of dread. Those with Talent who lived in the flats above the alley reported seeing her wailing as she tried to drag herself away from the invisible echo of the assailants responsible for her untimely demise.

His associate had returned part way through Oscar’s account, and when she steps away after handing their guest his cup she looks downright nauseas.

Lockwood can’t resist the urge to reach out and run the back of his fingers comfortingly up and down the back of her arm. She turns her head to give him a grateful little smile, and surprises him by moving to perch on the armrest of his chair instead of taking one of the other empty seats in the room. He’s never been more unsure about what to do with his hands.

“As you can imagine, these rumours haven’t exactly encouraged paying customers to come knocking,” Hughes laughs dryly, his eyes portraying an edge neither of them had thought him particularly capable of.

“My team and I will investigate tomorrow evening, and I assure you we will do so with the utmost discretion,” Lockwood flashes him his signature grin, easily gathering the underlying meaning behind the man’s words as he leans back

“Oh, well, you see… Time is of the essence, if I dare be so bold. I was hoping you’d be willing to take a look this evening.”

Lockwood considers him for a moment. On one hand, he’s certain Lucy would tan his hide if she caught wind of him taking on a case of this magnitude without her. On the other, there are so many similarities between the cases of Alexandra Wright and Annabel Ward that even after all these years he finds himself eager to solve it without sticking her in the middle of it all.

And George… Well, with his Talent now gone, George preferred to avoid being in the field whenever possible. The likelihood of a scolding from him was much lower than it would have been when they were young. Hell, Flo would probably even thank him for keeping the man out of it–

A hand resting featherlight on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts.

When he turns to look at her, her eyes are already on him, and they’re glittering with excitement. She knows as well as he does what solving this mystery could do for Lockwood & Co., and for him. He’d told her about Fairfax and Ward when they had started becoming closer to friends than colleagues. About the crushing frustration and disappointment that had hounded him for years after, urging him to make impulsive and reckless decisions to try and regain what he felt had been stolen from him.

Frustration at a system supposedly put in place to protect Agents being manipulated to treat them as tools and nothing more, disappointment at having the crown jewel accomplishment of the legacy he’d been trying so hard to build torn from his hands mere moments after earning it. ‘Do it,’ her eyes seem to urge, ‘say yes.’ His heart soars.

Emboldened by her touch and eager to right a wrong once done upon him, ignoring a strange sense of dread as that familiar feeling of invincibility settles over him, he fixes his eyes on their client once more.

“All right, Mr. Hughes. We begin at sunset.”

𝔑𝔢𝔵�� 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 ⇢

taglist (if your name is in bold, it wouldn't let me tag you!):

❁ @shakespearseclipse ❁ @tessas4 ❁ @chloejaniceeee ❁ @ettadear ❁

❁ @kassandra1000 ❁ @stardust611 ❁ @ell0ra-br3kk3r ❁

❁ @hellojameshowyadoin ❁ @Sarahhelpimsinking ❁ @soapshipper ❁

❁ @myownpainintheass ❁ @furblrwurblr ❁ @sleep-i-ness ❁

❁ @uku-lelevillain ❁

58 notes · View notes

brainddeadd · 23 days ago

Text

Heartbreak Girl

part 2

the song (if yall don't know this song then im too old to be on this damn app)

William had lost count of how many times he’d seen her sitting across from him, looking defeated. They’d been best friends for years, so naturally, she’d come to him every time one of these relationships ended in heartbreak. And every time, William had sat there, silently cursing the guys who never seemed to understand her worth. Every time, he held back the words he wanted to say—words he knew would only complicate things between them.

Tonight was no different. She was sitting on his couch, a glass of wine in hand, staring off into the distance with that familiar look of disappointment. She was pouring her heart out, telling him how the guy she’d been seeing just wasn’t who she thought he was. And William? He just sat there, listening and aching, wishing he could say the words he’d kept locked up for so long.

In the background, his playlist shuffled, landing on a song he usually skipped when she was around. But tonight, he let it play, the lyrics striking a little too close to home:

"I dedicate this song to you, The one who never sees the truth That I can take away your hurt…"

He risked a glance at her, seeing the familiar pain in her eyes. Part of him wanted to grab her hand and tell her exactly what was on his mind—that he’d do anything to be the one to make her happy, to take away every ounce of heartbreak she’d ever felt. But he knew better. She saw him as her best friend, the one she came to when things fell apart.

Still, the words tugged at him, the song echoing what he’d wanted to say for years. He couldn’t stop himself from softly singing along to the next lines, barely above a whisper:

"Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realize That I’m your cure?"

She looked up at him, eyes softening as she listened to him sing. “You know, you’re such a good friend, Will,” she said with a small, sad smile. “You’re always there for me when I need you.”

“Yeah,” he said, forcing a smile, trying to keep his voice steady. “That’s me. Always here when you need me.”

His words were sincere, but they held so much more meaning than she knew. To her, he was the dependable friend, the one who listened to all her stories and made her laugh when she felt down. But to him, she was so much more. She was the one he’d been falling for, quietly, helplessly, every time she leaned on him for support. He was her heartbreak cure, the one who could make her feel whole, if only she’d let him.

She sighed, setting her glass down and leaning back, her head resting on his shoulder. “Why can’t I find a guy who’s actually good for me?”

William’s heart skipped a beat. He wanted to scream, to tell her I’m right here, to make her see the way he looked at her every time they were together. But he kept it in, afraid to risk what they had. “Maybe,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, “maybe the right guy is just… waiting for you to notice him.”

She laughed lightly, missing the seriousness in his tone. “Yeah, maybe.” She squeezed his hand, giving him that familiar grateful smile that always made his heart twist. “I’m lucky to have you, Will. You’re my rock.”

“Anytime,” he said, his voice steady even though his heart was breaking a little more.

As the song played on, William just held her hand, staying right by her side. Someday, he hoped she’d see what he felt, what he’d been trying to show her for years. But until then, he’d be her heartbreak cure, silently waiting for the day she’d finally realize she’d had what she needed all along.

#william nylander imagines #william nylander x reader #william nylander fanfic #° braindead writes #nhl x reader #nhl imagines

24 notes · View notes

hwashotcheeto · 10 months ago

Note

Incubus!San learning how to properly love his human partner 🥰 When his s/o doesn't want to have sex, he gets confused and doesn't know what to do, making him sad and starts thinking he's unworthy of their love but they teach him other ways of showing affection and San feels his heart swell up and tries to remember all of the other ways to love them :3

Aaaaah, yes! I love it!

This was an idea that @malldreamprincess and I came up with a LONG long time ago when we were obsessed with incubu/succubi, and I'm so glad it came back (Thank you my love 💜).

And before we get started, here's what I think "Incubus San" might look like

WC: 1k

CW: Fluff, really fluffy. Some crying, comforts, cuddles, honestly just really sweet

"Not tonight, San," you mumbled as you rolled over in bed. Your incubus boyfriend sat in confused, stunned silence as you went to sleep without him.

You'd been dating (or what one could consider "dating," since he was living with you) for a month now, and whenever you'd been stressed or sad, San had soothed the pain with sex. You'd thought it was for him, that he was the one tired and needed sex to feel better.

But in truth, it was all for you. He truly cared about you, but he didn't know how else to show it. Through sex, he was able to take care of you and make you feel better. He was unsure of how you saw it, but he saw it as therapy.

So as he laid back down that night, he felt powerless. He didn't want you to suffer alone. But he didn't know how to help you.

You slept in the next morning, not getting up until almost noon. It was your day off, who cared what time you got up?

You pulled yourself out of bed and made your way into the kitchen. San was in the other room, he heard you rummaging around in the kitchen for a sandwich. Just something to stave off the hunger that was gnawing at your stomach.

With sandwich in hand, you made your way to the living room and stopped when you saw him. He was curled up, hugging one of the pillows, his head down. When he looked up at you, his eyes were red and puffy.

"Are you crying?" You asked softly. San rubbed the tears off his cheeks and cleared his throat before he replied.

"I want to help you," he said, his voice hoarse. "I don't like seeing you sad, and I want to help, but I don't know how." His voice broke on the last few words, and he hugged the pillow tighter.

Your heart broke in your chest. "What do you mean you don't know how?"

"I don't know what to do to make you happy. Please, tell me, I..." The tears poured from his eyes again, with a little choke as he tried to continue.

You put your sandwich down on the table and went to hug San. The pillow was forgotten as you pulled him into your arms and he hugged you back.

When you decided to keep an incubus around, you weren't expecting this level of affection, this desire to make you happy. He's a sex demon, why would he care about anything besides, well, sex?

But San was clearly more than his title presented. He wanted you to be happy. He genuinely cared about you if he was begging to know how to make you happy.

There'd be a learning curve, definitely. But for the both of you, it was worth it.

A week later, you returned home starving. You didn't have the chance to get dinner on the way home, as you were low on gas, and couldn't afford either currently anyways.

But as you were taking off your shoes and coat, you smelled food. It smelled divine, your mouth watered and your stomach growled in need.

You went into the kitchen and stopped dead in your tracks. San was putting the finishing touches on two sets of foods, which again, made your stomach growl.

San looked up at the noise and smiled at you, his eyes turning into slits. "I knew I timed it right." He stepped back from the counter and motioned to the food, presenting it to you. "I tried to make it how you said you liked it."

It was the most gorgeous plate of food you'd ever seen.

You threw your arms around San's neck and hugged him tight. You hadn't asked him to make dinner, you never asked him to make you food at all.

But here he made you a food you mentioned in a passing conversation, not even thinking about it, and made it so you'd be able to eat it right when you got home.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anything for you."

The two of you sat on the couch and watched a movie while you ate. It tasted better than you'd ever had it before.

You dropped your phone onto the coffee table and covered your face, tears springing from your eyes.

Almost like a dog, San heard you crying and came running, sitting next to you and hugging you tight.

"What's wrong?" He asked, but you shook your head as you leaned into him, hugging him tightly. You didn't want to talk about it, you just wanted to cry.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your head. "I'll be here when you want to talk, okay?"

You nodded, then pulled yourself up to sit on his lap sideways, your legs over his. San held you tight against him, keeping his hand on your head to hold you against his chest.

And there you stayed. For who knows how long, crying in the arms of your attentive, caring boyfriend.

You felt safe. And loved.

You were cleaning up after dinner when San came up and hugged you from behind. He kissed your head and nuzzled into your neck.

"Dinner was wonderful, angel."

"Yeah? I thought it could've been better."

"No, no, I really liked it." He squeezed your waist as he closed his eyes, breathing in your scent. You'd been gone for long hours lately, so San was extra clingy today.

All night, he found some way to touch you, hug you, be with you, anything. He wanted to be at your side, taking care of you, being with you.

And that's what he was doing. No lingering touches on your chest, no kissing on your neck, nothing with an ulterior motive.

San just wanted to hold you. To be with you.

To make sure you feel loved. And you did.

Your boyfriend had made you feel so, so loved.

You turned around in his arms and hugged him back, leaning into his neck. He squeezed you tight.

"San?" You asked softly.

"Yes?"

"I think I love you."

A smile spread across San's face, making his eyes turn to little slits again.

"I think I love you too, angel."

Aaaah, I love fluffy character development like this, it's so cute 🥰 I hope this was good enough for you @malldreamprincess.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

#ateez #ateez fluff #ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez san #choi san #san fluff #san ff #san fanfic

69 notes · View notes

strawbbzombwie · 4 months ago

Text

A day worth celebrating.

Eric x Bonnie

Summary: Bonnie wants her big brother to have an amazing birthday so with her stuffed rabbit and pocket full of coins, she sets out on an adventure!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings:Pure fluff with a teensy bit of angst sprinkled in at points, reference to Bonnie’s leg pains, Eric being a worried father and also miserable😔

Notes: @ceriseheaven giving him the birthday he deserves thanks to Bonnie🥹

Eric doesn’t particularly like celebrating his birthday. He never got a proper birthday as a child and now with Bonnie, he celebrates his birthday when it’s her birthday.

They normally split a small cake between them, watch Bonnies favourite cartoons and play games. By the end of the day, Bonnie’s wrapped up in Eric’s bed fast asleep and he may go out for a little while to see his friends from law school.

This birthday was different.

Eric was born on March 19th while Bonnie was born on August 13th and she wanted Eric to have a birthday of his own for a change so he would finally be happy.

March 19th 2020.

Bonnie woke up, rubbing her eyes as she yawned. Eric still asleep beside her. He didn’t have the money to buy Bonnie her own bed so he had to share his bed with a wriggling 5 year old. Most nights he didn’t sleep, too worried about Bonnie getting hurt in her sleep but this was a time he was finally able to fall asleep, probably due to exhaustion.

She slowly crawled out of the warm bed, grabbing her stuffed rabbit and putting on her bunny slippers. The sound of rain pattering against the windows made Bonnie giggle. She always loved rain but hated thunder as the loud bangs overwhelmed her.

“Oki wabbit. We’re going to go on an adventure today to get dada a cake!” Bonnie whispered, waddling into the small kitchen and grabbing a small bowl to fill with her choice of sugary cereal.

After her breakfast, she grabbed her pink raincoat and boots and also put wabbit in a matching raincoat and boots. She grabbed all her coins and dollar bills and placed them in her pocket and quietly waddled to the door.

“Wabbit am I forgetting something??” She asked to her stuffed friend, looking at her outfit. She stayed in her fluffy pink pyjamas with her glittery leg braces on underneath. She had a struggle buckling them up herself as Eric normally does them for her. But she decided to be a big girl and do them herself!

Recently, Bonnie’s legs had been hurting more and more. No matter how many doctor appointments Eric took her too, they all said that her condition was the same and not declining but Eric knew to trust his instinct more. The doctors gave Bonnie a wheelchair and leg braces for when she was in pain and Eric did his best to decorate them and make them all sparkly for her. He took all of her stickers and added them to her wheelchair and when he showed her, she squealed and ran to hug Eric. It warmed his heart knowing that she loved him so much. Eric thought that he wasn’t capable of being loved but Bonnie proved him otherwise.

Bonnie decided that she was ready to go to the store to buy Eric a cake, ready to give him the best birthday she possibly could.

After taking the lift to the bottom floor, she stepped outside into the rain and the cold March air. It was still dark outside and quiet, people not waking up to go to work yet.

“Oki wabbit keep your raincoat on otherwise you’ll be soggy!!” Bonnie giggled, beginning to walk down the street. This was the first time Bonnie was ever out on her own. She was 5 after all. Eric taught her about stranger danger and the only time she needed to speak to someone was when she buys the cake so she knew not to talk to anyone else.

The rain was pouring by the time Bonnie made it to the small store. She waddled into the building, making her way to where all the cakes and treats were. The cashier glanced over and was visibly confused.

“Are you okay hun? Where’s your mommy?” They said, walking over to Bonnie. She looked up at the worker, smiling.

“I’m getting a cake for my dada! It’s his birthday today!!” Bonnie giggled. The worker smiled back.

“Ohh okay! Do you want any help??” They asked. Bonnie shook her head and went back to looking at the cakes. The worker smiled, beginning to walk back to the cash register.

Bonnie grabbed wabbit out of her pocket, who was a little soggy due to the rain. She hugged him tight and pointed to a cake.

“What about this one wabbit? It’s chocolate so it will be yummy!” She asked, making wabbit nod in return. She smiled, picking up the cake and waddling to the register and going on her tippy toes to place the cake on the counter.

“I want this please!!” Bonnie says, looking up at the worker, a smile spread across her face. The worker smiles back and scans the small cake.

“Okie dokie thats $10!” They say. Bonnie reaches into her pocket and pulls out a few dollar bills and a variety of different coins and drops them onto the counter. She steps back as the worker counts all the coins. They dont have the heart to tell Bonnie that she’s a little short on the money. She is a child after all and like she said, it’s for her dad’s birthday, why would they ruin that day.

“Here’s your cake!! I hope your dad has a great birthday!” They smile at her and hand her the small box. Bonnie squeals, grabbing the box and running out of the shop.

“Thank you!!” She yells as she runs out the door, placing wabbit back on her raincoat as she makes her way back home.

Bonnie quietly opens the door, looking around the apartment to find Eric nowhere to be seen. She smiles, placing the cake on their small coffee table as she throws her raincoat on the floor, grabbing wabbit and placing him on the small sofa.

She runs to Eric’s bedroom, grabbing all her toys and places them on the sofa and floor, leaving a space for Eric in the middle. She giggles, happy with her layout and hoping that Eric would like her effort.

Eric rushes through the apartment door, panicking. When he woke up to find Bonnie’s side of the bed empty, he thought bonnie went to the toilet but after a couple of minutes, the bathroom was still silent. This puzzled Eric as he would normally hear Bonnie humming as she washes her hands. But all he heard was silence. So when he opened the bathroom door to find no Bonnie, he started to panic and ran out of the apartment, frantically calling his friends asking them to keep a lookout for Bonnie if they see her. When his friend text him saying they saw her waddling home in the rain, he immediately ran back to the apartment.

“Bonnie!! Where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick!!” he yelled. He didn’t want to yell at her, but he’s trying so hard to raise her and give her the childhood she deserves. The childhood he never got. His heart dropped when he saw Bonnie’s smile fade and her chocolate button eyes fill up with tears.

“I’m sorry..wanted to get a cake for your birthday..” she sniffled, pointing to the coffee table. He glanced over and teared up at the sight. On the table was a chocolate cake. Eric’s favourite. All of Bonnie’s toys and teddys were sat on the couch and floor, wearing makeshift party hats Bonnie made. Next to the cake, was a card Bonnie made herself, a picture of Eric in a party hat drawn in crayons, which were still scattered on the floor. He bent down and picked up the card, opening it to read the message she wrote.

“To Dada,

Happy birthday to the best dada in the whole wide world!!

Love from your bestest friends Bonnie + Wabbit”

Eric didnt realise he was crying until he felt the tears roll down his cheeks and his vision begin to blur. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve a cake, a card, a party and he certainly didn’t deserve Bonnie. Not in his opinion anyway. He looked after bonnie when no one else would, even though he was technically her brother, he’s been her dad for as long as Bonnie could talk. He’s seen her first steps, her first words, her first everything. He’s been there when their parents weren’t bothered to be.

“Bee..hey sh sh..I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to yell..I was just worried because you were out all on your own..anything could’ve happened to you..” he said, kneeling down to face a sniffling Bonnie, wiping the tears away from her chubby cheeks. Bonnie looked at Eric, sniffling and trying her best to smile.

“I’m sorry..I just wanted you to have a birthday..” she sniffled. She didn’t understand why what she did was wrong and dangerous. Eric sighed, picking Bonnie up and embracing her in a hug.

“I can never stay mad at you bee. You mean too much to me. You know that right?” He says, ticking her side, causing her to squeal and giggle. He was happy that he finally got her to smile. He sat down on the couch, being surrounded by toys while Bonnie is sat on his lap.

“Should we have some cake??” Eric asked, Bonnie immediately nodding in response, also making wabbit nod.

The day went by quickly, being packed full of fun activities. Eric and Bonnie shared the small cake, Eric feeding Bonnie small pieces so she didn’t make a huge mess while eating it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a birthday cake on his actual birthday. He usually shared his birthday with Bonnie in August seen as he couldn’t afford to celebrate his own but he wanted her to have the best birthdays. He didn’t care about treating himself but it warmed his heart knowing that Bonnie wanted Eric to have a day all about him.

After cake, they both sat watching cartoons, Eric having Bonnie sat on his lap, holding her close as she sang along to the songs on their small tv. Bonnie was making wabbit dance, making Eric laugh.

“You’re so silly!” He said, squeezing her as he kissed her cheek, making Bonnie laugh in response.

When it came to having dinner, Eric’s friends came around and brought takeout for the two of them. They also said at some point when Eric’s free, they would take him out for drinks to celebrate. When Eric moved to New York, he didn’t expect to make many friends as he never had any growing up, mainly being used to keeping things to himself and doing activities alone. But when he started classes at law school, he met a group of people he shared similar interests with. And when Eric introduced them to Bonnie, they immediately fell in love with her, offering to babysit her whenever Eric’s busy. That made Eric happy, finally finding people that cared about him and Bonnie.

By 7pm, Bonnie was fast asleep in Eric’s arms, holding wabbit within her own. After dinner, they had spent the evening drawing and playing games with the rest of her toys. Eric was always surprised by Bonnie and her big imagination. She was able to create games with what little toys she had. It made Eric upset that he wasn’t able to give her everything she wanted but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t ungrateful and she loved and cherished everything he gave her.

Eric got up from his seat, cradling Bonnie in his arms as he made his way to his bed, placing Bonnie down and tucking her in the covers. She mumbled slightly, stretching her arms out to try and grab Eric again.

“I’ll be back soon bee..sleep well okay?” He whispered, getting a soft murmur in response as Bonnie continued to sleep. He walked back into the living room and started to clear up the plates, quietly placing them in the sink. He went back to the couch, picking up all of Bonnie’s toys and putting them back in her toy box. He liked the apartment to be as clean as possible but with a 5 year old, that was tricky. He didn’t mind though, just as long as she has fun.

After cleaning up the apartment, he went into the bathroom to change into some pyjamas and brush his teeth. He already got Bonnie changed into her pyjamas after dinner so he was glad he didn’t have to worry about waking her up.

He quietly climbed into bed, making sure not to disturb Bonnie. He didn’t have the money to buy Bonnie her own bed but she didn’t mind as she got to give Eric cuddles all the time. Every morning he always woke up to Bonnie asleep on his chest, hugging him as she continued to sleep, snoring lightly.

As he began to fall asleep, he looked at Bonnie, who was asleep and snuggling into wabbit. He felt guilty that Bonnie did the best she could to try and make a great birthday for him, but he knows she’d do it a thousand times if it showed how much he meant to her. He didn’t know a child to love a person so much as Bonnie loved Eric.

“Thank you bee..you gave me a day to remember..I love you..” he mumbled, stroking her hair as he began to fall asleep, the light sound of rain still tapping against the glass.

I hope you enjoyed more Eric and Bonnie content!! Thank you for reading!!💖💖

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joseph quinn my beloved <3 #a quiet place day one #Eric x Bonnie #oc bonnie #original character #eric aqpdo

21 notes · View notes

irkimatsu · 6 months ago

Note

Husk coming home from a rare day out doing hotel errands no one else could do to his partner having set up a romantic date night in for them

His inner hopeless romantic implodes

- 💃

That man needs to be wined and dined~

He's so exhausted when he comes home that night. Everything fucking hurts; he feels like he's been in a fight, when really all he was doing was running around the Pride ring completing errands for Alastor. Did Alastor really need all of this shit done, or does he just think it's funny making Husk waste his time? Whatever the reason, he's tired and sore and pissed, and all he wants is to curl up in his bed and drink himself to sleep. Angel is waiting on the couch when Husk enters the lobby, and Husk is firmly intent on ignoring him, until-

"Hey, Husk! (Y/N)'s waiting for ya! Wants you to meet them in their room!"

The fact that this doesn't excite him lets him know how fucking tired he is. "God damn it, it's been a long fuckin' day..."

"And maybe you could use a long fuckin' night to deal with it!" Angel suggests with a laugh.

"I'll just tell 'em I'm too tired... I'm sure they'll understand..." Of course you'll understand. You've always respected his boundaries. Still, having to turn down a night of passion with his favorite person still sucks, no matter how not in the mood he is right now...

He goes to your room, fully expecting to hear seductive jazz music and see you in some sexy bed clothes. Instead, the music is a calm piano-led melody, and your outfit is more suited for a night out, classy and beautiful. You're sitting at a table covered in a nice tablecloth, with two steak dinners and a sweet-smelling candle display in the middle.

"Welcome back, Husk!" you say cheerfully. "I figured you'd be hungry, after being out for so long, so I thought I'd have some dinner ready for you. It should still be hot! Lucifer showed me a good spell to make sure of that! That's all he helped me with, though. I cooked it myself, no magic."

Husk takes a seat and cuts into the steak. The knife glides right through the tender, juicy meat, and he can't help but flick his tail as the delicious taste melts in his mouth. Rare, just as he likes it, and hot and fresh as if it just came off the grill.

"You didn't have to do all this for me," he says.

"But I wanted to," you say. "You deserve a nice surprise every once in a while." You smile at him. "The way you're digging into that steak is making it worth it. I take it I did a good job?"

"It's delicious," he says after swallowing his current bite. As he continues eating, you grab a wine bottle that he hadn't noticed before in his starved, exhausted haze.

"This is the kind that you said goes well with steak, right?" you ask as you fill both of your glasses with the dark red liquid.

"Yeah, that's the one," he replies only needing the slightest glance at the label to know what kind you're pouring. "You've got a good memory."

"Of course I remember! Do you think I don't listen to my partner when he talks about his interests?"

Husk laughs as he brings another bite of steak to his mouth. "Never doubted you for a second, doll."

It's nice for him to be doted on every once in a while. The food is incredible, exactly to his tastes, and you never let his wine glass go empty, even when it's clear that between the two of you he'll be drinking the majority of the bottle.

The two of you won't be having sex tonight. Even if the meal and conversation helped to lift his mood, his body is still in no state for anything wild. Still, you'll show him affection in whatever way he needs.

"Would a massage help?" you ask. "I hate seeing you in so much pain."

"A shoulder rub would be nice..."

The two of you change into something more comfortable, you in a non-revealing pajama set and him in nothing but a clean set of boxers. Husk then lets his mind drift away as you firmly rub the tension from his neck, his shoulders, his wings, his back... anywhere he requests, you're happy to provide. Soon, he's too relaxed and maybe a little too drunk to think or move. He wraps his arms around your torso and snuggles into the crook of your neck, with no intention of going anywhere until he's good and ready.

"I love you, Husk," you say as you lightly rub behind his ear.

You didn't need to say it; you've done more than enough to show it, not just tonight, but every minute you ever spend with him.

He still loves hearing it.

"I love you too, doll."

#irk blubbers about nothing #irk got asked a thing #irk huskposts #irk talks to strangers #this wasn't supposed to be so long oops #the prompt was so damn cute though #please spoil this man

27 notes · View notes

hswriting · 7 days ago

Text

Hard to Love - Part 6

[Image Alt ID: a three picture collage with a cream colored background. The first picture is a closeup of white daises with yellow centers. The second picture is of a cup of coffee with a decoration, and a plate of various breakfast foods. The third picture if of two people sitting on a couch, one’s legs over the others lap. They are both reading a book. End Alt ID]

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 5 Part 7 (Coming Soon)

- - -

3.0k words

- - -

Harry and April confessed their feelings and now are beginning their relationship when the day takes a surprising turn.

Cw: mentions injuries, abuse, gun

AN: sorry this took so long to come out. I haven’t exactly proofread but it’s finally complete. Thank you guys for being patient with me while this took a while to write. It might be a while for the next part as well but we will see. Thank you!

I wake up alone in Harry’s bed. Sunlight is beaming through his window. I look around and there is no sign of Harry. There is only the pajamas he wore to bed last night lying on the floor.

I am confused as to where he has gone, but am happy thinking back to last night. It was amazing. My mind starts to wander. What does this mean? What are we now?

I get up and go to my room. I pick out another short sleeved shirt and some sweats. I tie up my hair and walk out of the bathroom.

Harry is sitting on the couch reading the book I had finished yesterday. He looks up at me as I walk into the room.

“Good morning Loopy.” He says. He places his bookmark in the book and sets it down. He walk over to me and wraps his arms around me. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes.” I answer as we separate.

“Let’s go out and get breakfast? He asks.

“I don’t have any money.” I remind him.

“I didn’t ask if you had money.”

“Har-“

“Come on. Put your shoes on.” He says and I do. We walk out of the door and down the stairs. We get into his car.

“Did you sleep okay?” I ask him as I buckle my seatbelt.

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Yeah I did.” I answer. He smiles at me. He seems to be in a really good mood. He drives us to the nearest breakfast shop and we go in.

We sit down and place our drink orders.

“Loopy?” He says to get my attention.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks. “Last night?”

“What about it?” I ask confused. I had a good time. Did he not?

He looks at me and sees my confused and pained expression.

“The talk isn’t bad. I just have some questions. If you don’t mind?” He says, his hands resting on the table. This eases my anxiety.

“Okay?”

“I just wanted to know what last night meant to you. I love you. I meant what I said. I guess I just want to know if you feel the same way, or if it was just because-“

“Of course I feel the same way. You’re amazing Harry. I wasn’t using you.” I tell him. I’m hurt he thinks he isn’t worth being loved and that someone would just want sex from him.

“So what does this make us? We aren’t just friends anymore.” He says to me. Our drinks are brought over and we place our food orders.

“I want a relationship.” I continue the conversation. “I’m just afraid… Anxious I guess.”

“About what?” He asks me and I put my hands on top of his.

“It’s nothing you’ve done. I’m just afraid of getting hurt again. I didn’t see the signs with Robbie. I know you’re not like that, but can you blame me for being afraid? I know it sounds so stupid. I just need to move on and-“

“It’s not stupid at all, and I completely understand. I don’t want to force you to date me if you’re not ready, but I’ll do anything to make you comfortable. If you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. If you just want to be friends and try another time I will wait. I understand why you would be afraid, but I don’t want you to be. I want to make you feel safe.” He tells me and tears well up in my eyes.

I’ve never felt safer than what I did last night. I want to feel that all of the time. Would Harry really bend like he says? I guess maybe he would. He poured the wine down the sink yesterday. He said that he would do anything for me. He loves me.

“Don’t cry, love. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He says, taking his hand and wiping away the tears that have fallen down my cheeks.

“They’re not bad tears.” I say, trying to gain my composure. Harry gives me a sad smile. “You make me feel safer than I’ve ever been.” I tell him. He wipes another tear.

“Do you want to give it a try? There’s no pressure April.” He tells me. I look into his green eyes and remember the progress we have made. We hated each other. Through that he found out my secret. I was injured and Harry was there every single day, without fail. He gave me every minute that he didn’t have to work. He helped me be able to walk again. Now we are here. It’s been a long road, but one I am glad I took. I’m glad we don’t hate each other any more. I’m so fucking glad.

I nod my head at Harry.

“I need to hear you say it, love. I got to hear you say it.”

“Yes.” I tell him. “I want to try.”

The smile that breaks across his face is just as big as the one he gave me when I took my first solo steps. His face is blushing red. It’s adorable. He stands from the table. His hands come and hold my face and he places a slow kiss on my lips. His lips are so soft. I could kiss him all day.

He separates and sits back down.

“All I ask for is patience. I’ve got some healing to do.” I tell him.

“You have my patience. I promise.” He says. “I want to help you in whatever way I can.”

Our food comes to the table and Harry and I eat with smiles plastered onto our faces. We sit and discuss our plans for the day as we finish our plates. Harry holds my hand from across the table.

“How about we go on a tiny shopping trip?” He says. “I want to look around at some things.”

“Of course.” I tell him. I know my leg is going to ache walking that much, but he looks so happy to be going with me. I have to make it happen.

We go to the car and head to the store. When we pull in, Harry parks as close to the front as he can without taking the disabled parking spaces. We walk in and Harry looks at the carts, and then looks at me.

“Which one would you like? They have the power scooters with the baskets or I can push you in this wheelchair with a shopping basket…” he continues on and on with the different options. He didn’t say anything but he thought of me when parking and now. I wasn’t going to say anything.

“A regular cart is okay Har. Save those for people that need them.”

“You need one. You still are having pain in your leg. You’re allowed to take one. That’s what they are there for.” He tells me. “I don’t want you to make your pain worse.”

“Har-“

“Nope. Pick one please.” He begs me. I pick the wheelchair with the basket because I’ve seen the powered one’s battery die in the middle of people shopping.

“Are you sure it’s okay that you push me? I know I’m probably heavy.”

“You’re not heavy. I don’t mind pushing you if that’s what you want.” He tells me. I sit down and lower the basket. “Ready?” I nod at him. He waits until I verbalize my approval. We begin to go through the store, Harry grabbing a few things for dinner for the week. He walks me around some of the different departments. We walk into some of the home decor isles.

“Harry, Look!” I say excitedly. “They have daisies!” I point to the section with a whole row of daisy themed items. A clock, blankets, pictures, and wall decorations. I pick up each one and take mental note of the items for when I get paid. I look at Harry who has come around to the front of me to look at the items. He looks back at me with rosy cheeks and a smile. “What?” I ask him when he stares at me for a second.

“Nothing. I just don’t realize you were so loopy when you saw daises. Thought maybe you snuck some medicine from the hospital.”

“Ha ha. Very funny. They are just my favorite flower. They are so cute.”

“Who needs pain killers when you have flowers?” He picks on me.

“God knows I need something to help the headache I get from you.” I joke back. We continue around the store, looking at various items. I pick them up, admire them, and put them back on the shelf.

“I can’t wait to be able to decorate my room.” I say as we pay for the few items Harry grabbed. We return the wheelchair and go to the car. When we get home I lay on the couch and open my novel that I have been reading. Harry is doing various tasks around the house.

“Hey Loopy, don’t forget that you wanted to call set up an appointment with a therapist.” He reminds me. “You also have PT in a few days.”

“Thanks.” I say. I pick up my phone and go to another room and make the phone call. I give them my insurance and every personal detail they ask for. My appointment is the same day as PT, but at a later time. I figured I might as well do all of the running around on the same day.

I go back out to the living room and see Harry sitting on the couch with my book. I see my bookmark is still in place, but he has started from the beginning.

“The beginnings a little slow, but the book picks up pace the farther along you get.” I tell him from behind the couch. His eyes meet mine. He puts his finger in the book and holds his arms out.

“Do you want to cuddle with me? I can read to you if you want?”

“Okay.” I tell him. I go around to the front of the couch and lay down. My head lays on his chest and the rest of me is draped over him, legs tangled together. He begins to read where he left off. I don’t mind that I have already read this part, because I get to hear his voice read it to me. I get to lay here with him and just relax.

I listen to his voice and the gentle vibrations in his chest. His heartbeat is loud and is racing, but he comes off with a cool tone while reading.

I slowly drift off to sleep as one of his arms hold me, and the other holds the book he is still reading.

I wake up to see the book in the table with a second bookmark placed in it. Harry is asleep, his harms wrapped around me.

I lay here for a while and just appreciate him. I want to do something nice for him to show him that. He has helped me so much and he deserves something nice in return. I feel a small pinch of guilt in my stomach. I have nothing to give him. I have no money. I can’t do much of anything until I am back in my feet at work. Maybe if I just tell him how much he means to me until then.

I wiggle my way out of his arms and give him a pillow to hold instead. I go back to his room and grab a notebook and pen. I sit down at the kitchen table and begin to write.

Dear Harry,

In the whole universe of possibilities, I never tried to think of getting out of Robbie’s control. It gave me too much hope. I tried plenty of times. I never succeeded. I wanted to just lay down and die. Give up.

You were never privy to my world at home. You only knew me at work. You knew the neat freak. The only who always yelled at you for being lazy and sweeping the door mats with a broom instead of the vacuum. The one who always hated your smile, because you never used it on me. You used it on your customers.

When you found me covered in bruises, I thought everything was going to come crashing down around me. In a way it did. My whole world changed in an instant. Someone else knew. There was that hope of getting out again. I didn’t know it was going to take getting shot, but at least I’m safe now.

I didn’t know by opening up to you I was going to gain a best friend. A boyfriend. I didn’t know I was going to move in with you and get to see your smile every day when I woke up. You’ve always had such a beautiful smile. I always wanted you to smile at me.

Slowly through this experience you opened up to me. You told me about your sister. You told me stories about the both of you. I wish I could have met her. I want to meet your mom. I want to see all of your embarrassing baby pictures she keeps. I want to know all of you.

You have been so kind to me. You’ve gone above and beyond for me and I’ll never be able to repay you for your kindness to me. I want to get you gifts, but I can’t right now. Know that as soon as I can, I will get you something to say thank you, but right now all I have is words. All I have is this letter.

I’m excited to start this journey with you by being your girlfriend. I didn’t know I could love somebody so quickly. For a long time I wanted to believe that love wasn’t real. It was something society made up or some mass hysteria. I knew I was wrong because I was capable of loving with my whole heart. It was a matter of finding someone who could love me the way I love them. And I found you.

I love you Harry Styles. I love you. I wish I had a big enough vocabulary to express this to you but I don’t have the words. I love you Harry. You mean the world to me.

-April

I sign the letter and fold it up. I place it on the table. I put the notebook away. I return to the kitchen.

Harry and I skipped lunch since we went shopping and napped, so I figure we could use an early dinner.

I look in the fridge and cabinets. I decide on hamburgers. I take the meat from the fridge and start making the patties. I heat a small groan and then light footsteps. I turn around to see Harry rubbing his eyes and walking towards me. I continue making the patties and placing them in the pan.

Harry comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

“This okay?” He asks, sleep still thick in his voice.

“Yeah this is okay.” I tell him. “Figured we could eat a little early.”

“Good deal.” He says. He helps prepare our burger toppings while I cook them.

I get distracted when I hear Harry’s phone ring. He cleans his hands and goes to answer it. He puts it on speaker.

“Hi mom!” He says excitedly, bringing a smile to both of our faces.

“Hi honey. How’s your day going?” She asks. I turn back around while Harry answers her and realize the burgers have burnt on one side. I mumble a curse word under my breath so his mom cannot hear me. I feel myself start shaking. I’m so irritated that I burnt those and I don’t want Harry to get mad at me for wasting food he bought. I put some more patties in, keeping a close eye on them. Harry and his mom talk some more as Harry finishes up the toppings. He looks over at me.

“Are you alright, love?” He asks me.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” I lie. I’m anxious.

“Mom. Is it okay if I call you back after dinner? April and I are about to eat.”

“That’s fine, love. Enjoy your meal! Tell April I said hello!” She says. “I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” He tells her and hangs up the phone. He comes closer to me. “Love, talk to me. What’s wrong?” He asks so sweetly.

“I burnt the first two patties. I got distracted. I’m so sorry.” I apologize.

“You don’t have to be sorry. We can scrap them and eat the rest. It’s okay, love.” He tells me. He picks up the plate with the charcoal like patties. “Are these it?” He asks me and I nod. He walks the plate over and tosses the patties in the garbage can.

“I’m sorry Har. I didn’t mean to waste them. I know you spend your money on our food and-“

“Hey, look at me.” He says. He lightly puts his fingers under my chin and raises so I meet his gaze. “Accidents happen. I probably would have done the same thing. I’m not upset. I’m definitely not worried about money. It’s okay.” He says softly to me.

“Do you promise?” I ask him.

“Of course. Let’s finish the next batch and eat them. I know they are gonna taste delicious.” He says confidently.

We make our plates and sit down at the table. We begin to eat when Harry picks up the piece of paper.

“What’s this?” He asks, not having opened it yet.

“I wrote you a letter. I wanted you to read it. Just whenever you feel like it.” I tell him.

“Well I’ll read it after we eat.” He says. We finish our food and I start washing the dishes. I hear Harry unfold the paper at the table. I continue with the dishes.

I hear the letter being folded back up after a moment. I hear a sniffle. I turn around and see a tear running down Harry’s cheek. I quickly turn the water off and dry my hands. I rush over to him and wipe the tear away.

“Baby I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I tell him. He pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me.

“I don’t need any gifts. I got to know you. I have you. That’s enough.” He says. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I say in return.

We spend the evening cuddling on the couch and I watch Harry play a video game. When it’s time for bed, Harry carries me to his room and lays me down.

“I have opening shift tomorrow, so I’ll try not to wake you up.” He tells me.

“No it’s okay. I need to pack your lunch. Let me wake up with you.” I lay my head on his chest.

“If you want to. I know that’s really early.”

“I know.” I tell him and he places a kiss on my forehead

“Goodnight Loopy.” He whispers to me.

“Goodnight Har.” I whisper back. We both drift off to sleep.

When the alarm goes off this morning, I can’t help but groan. I most definitely do not miss the opening shift. Harry shuts off the alarm and wraps his arm around me.

“Can I just stay here?” He ask’s sleepily.

“No. You have to go. I’m sorry Har.” I say as I sit up, untangling his arms from me. I wipe my eyes. I get up out of bed and go to the kitchen. I quickly make his lunch. Harry meets me by the door.

“I’ll be back soon. I get off at noon. I love you.” He says. He plants a kiss on my lips. When we separate I tell him I love him too.

I go back to the bedroom and find some clothes to wear. This takes forever because I need to do laundry. I gather up my clothes and I put them in the washer. I also throw bedsheets and pillowcases in with it. I walk into the bathroom and brush out my hair. I begin to turn on the shower when I hear the door open.

“Did you forget something Har?” I yell. No answer. I turn the water off walk out to see what Harry needs when I freeze in my tracks. That’s not Harry. I hear a swift click of a gun.

“Don’t make a fucking sound. Don’t move.”

- - -

Masterlist Series Part 5 Part 7 (Coming Soon)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #hswriting #hard to love #htl

10 notes · View notes